


Man Up

by jeonqqin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (hinted) Pansexual Bang Chan, (mild) Self-Loathing, (minor) Top Bang Chan, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Han Jisung | Han, Bottom Hwang Hyunjin, But silently, Chan is a sweetheart, Everyone is Whipped for Hyunjin, Fluff, Gay Hwang Hyunjin, HYUNSUNG, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin-centric, Loss of Virginity, M/M, More tags might be added later - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Pillow Prince Hwang Hyunjin, Pining, Rough Oral Sex, Self-Discovery, Size Difference, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Han Jisung | Han, Virgin Hwang Hyunjin, Virginity Kink, brother’s best friend jisung, but boy does he have bad luck with dating, but jisung is already dating a (not) very nice character, but they switch sorta, changbin too, felix is also the best best friend™, hyunjin is a pretty boy and everyone knows it, minho is a protective big brother, they’re both whipped for hyunjin, warnings will be posted in author’s notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonqqin/pseuds/jeonqqin
Summary: Even with classes, annoying brothers, and an unrequited crush, Hyunjin still figured his first year of college was going pretty well. Until he managed to get his first boyfriend, and suddenly his brother and said brother’s stupidly attractive best friend were attached to Hyunjin’s hip for the whole damn ride.or alternatively;Why did Jisung care about Hyunjin so much, and had his eyes always been that pretty?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Original Female Character(s), Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 156





	1. Mr. Are-You-Free-At-Six

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story was directly altered from my tumblr, @jeonqqin where the protagonist is the reader. This fic was made solely for my enjoyment, but I hope some can enjoy this fic as it’s own!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minho doesn’t like his brother talking to boys... now on the big screen.

Hyunjin’s eyes blurred over the page of the book held out in front of him, every word harder to remember than the last. 

It was his fault he was in the library, studying during lunch period. He was the one that decided to procrastinate after all. But he also had no idea what was going to be on the exam in his Principles of Statistics class. How could he _start_ studying when he had no idea what he was meant to be studying? At least, that was Hyunjin’s genius excuse for not touching his statistics book all week.

Resting his head on his hand, Hyunjin’s eyes briefly wandered off of his book, and directly up into a pair of pretty brown ones. They were already looking at him, gaze intense and flirty all at the same time. It suddenly had him instinctively looking back down at his book, this time without the intention of actually reading anything. 

No way. 

The boy sitting directly across from him was cute—no doubt about that. Classic big brown eyes and flat brown hair—it was a natural attractiveness that he just couldn’t ignore. Not when he was clearly staring. 

Peeking up, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things, Hyunjin caught his gaze again. And as the stranger’s lip quirked up, he knew it wasn’t just a coincidence—he was deliberately looking. A childish giddiness flooded Hyunjin’s stomach at the realization. 

The boy smiled, charming and sweet. 

“Do you know anything about political science?”

It took Hyunjin a second to process what he asked, but then quickly shook his head, smiling. “D’you know anything about the statistics exam next Wednesday?”

He shrugged playfully. “Not a clue.”

“Well, it looks like we’re in the same boat then.”

“Utterly screwed by the school system?”

Snorting loudly, Hyunjin instantly received an unhappy glare from the librarian that was followed by a hush. An apology was on the tip of his tongue, but he just opted to send her a timid wave. Neither he nor the cute stranger moved until she returned to her book. But then when Hyunjin looked up, the other was slinking over and taking the seat beside him. 

Hyunjin could’ve squealed—imagine being such a teenage boy that he was so ecstatic to simply sit next to an attractive guy that showed him—another _guy_ —any interest. Hyunjin was practically bouncing in his seat. 

“At least I know that there’s someone else who can understand my worries,” the stranger whispered, turning in his chair to face Hyunjin completely. 

Hyunjin scoffed, eyeing the librarian for a moment before blinking back at the boy in front of him. 

“Yeah right. You could ask the entire student body and they would all reply in one collective groan.” 

“You’re not wrong there.” He hummed. “Thanks for not making me feel like a complete loser for procrastinating.”

“Oh, you're still a loser for procrastinating,” Hyunjin said, attempting to hold back his smile as he raised a brow. “You’re just not the only one now.”

The nameless boy made a playful noise of anguish, nodding his head with a silent laugh. “Ouch. That hurts coming from a mystery boy.”

Hyunjin shrugged coyly, letting him take that as his answer before he leaned back against his palm. 

“Maybe,” the boy paused for a moment, glancing around to the occupied librarian and continuing, “After classes, we could go out for coffee. Y’know—to get better acquainted. Unless you wanted me to keep calling you ‘mystery boy’.”

Hyunjin pretended to weigh his options in his head, eyes flicking up towards the ceiling and an uncontrollable smile slipping onto his lips. 

Hyunjin was getting asked out. And every possible thing was going right; he was cute, he was witty, there was a connection, there were no interruptions—

“Are you free at six?”

Hyunjin’s mouth opened to reply a quick “yes”, but suddenly there was a set of hands landing firmly on his shoulders and he could feel the familiar brush of soft hair against his cheek. 

“No sir, he is not free.” 

The subtly stern voice of Hyunjin’s nosey brother replied, and the color of the stranger’s face went pale as his eyes darted between Hyunjin and the intruder. 

Minho’s grip grew a little tighter. “But thanks for asking.”

“Sorry man, I didn’t know he was your… Um, what I meant was—” Came the panicked reply. 

Hyunjin winced, expression going sour as the apologies flew out of the boy’s mouth at a rapid pace. 

“Brother.” Minho corrected, a sickeningly sweet smile plastered on his face that read disaster. 

And then after a few more unsettling glares and passive-aggressive comments from Minho, the guy was gone, his head lowered to his chest. Hyunjin had seen worse. There had been many more that happened to end in bruises and a visit from campus security, so a little humiliation wasn’t so terrible. 

But fucking hell— _there goes another one_. 

“You need to stop doing that,” Hyunjin said, swiping all his books into his bag as Minho watched the poor soul leave the library with satisfaction. 

Minho scoffed. “What? Weeding out the losers that run at a little sign of conflict?” He tisked patronizingly. “Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who pisses themselves because your brother was being a little protective? I’m not going to be here forever, and who will be the one to watch out for you then? Certainly not Mr. Are-You-Free-At-Six.”

A heavy sigh left Hyunjin’s lips. He had heard the speech before and in the beginning he had been infuriated. But after years of the same response and lecture, Hyunjin grew numb to the feeling of anger towards his brother. 

“Who said I even needed protecting?”

“Me. I’m your big brother, I know what’s best for you.” Minho replied curtly, grabbing Hyunjin’s bag from the table and slinging it over his shoulder. “Besides, that kid only wanted to get into your pants, Jin. There’s been a rumor that you’re easy.”

“Piss off.”

Maybe it was true that Hyunjin got loose-lipped after a couple of drinks, but _easy_? How could a virgin ever be easy?

“It’s true. Changbin overheard another freshman mention it after that party at the Sigma Phi whatever’s house.” Minho momentarily tilted his head to Hyunjin, but turned away before he could see his younger brother flip up his middle finger.

Hyunjin scowled, following after Minho as he charmingly waved at the librarian on their way out. She chuckled under her breath and fluttered her fingers towards Minho, absolutely no intention of even glancing at Hyunjin. Minho was a very likable person. He had always been able to use his endless pool of charisma to get on anyone’s good side, and that had opened up many opportunities for him. 

Unfortunately, he had many sides to him, and one of them had manifested from his obsessive need to keep Hyunjin away from any and all possible danger in life. That part of him was what had every guy running for the hills. 

Hyunjin was a freshman in college, and every relationship he had was ruined, courtesy of his older brother. 

The two then merged into the crowded halls filled with unrushed university students, several people greeting Minho with friendly gestures that Hyunjin couldn’t keep up with. It was as if no one even saw him—he supposed that was also Minho’s fault.

“I have class now,” Hyunjin huffed, tugging his bag from Minho’s shoulder and nearly making the elder stumble into a wall. “Okay? Am I allowed to continue my education, oh great brother of mine?”

Minho made a mocking face in his direction. “ _Haha_. Very funny, young man. Now don’t go seducing any more good-for-nothing’s while I’m gone. Got it?”

“I’m going to kill you one of these days.”

Minho snorted, spinning on his heel towards the direction of his own class. 

“And I’ll be waiting with open arms, little brother!”

“Eat shit, Lino!”

With a visible bounce in his step, Minho disappeared behind the corner, supposedly heading to his next class, but Hyunjin knew it was just a matter of time before he would get sidetracked and distracted along the way. Minho was always excited to see Hyunjin around campus, seeing him—his baby brother—just made his day better. 

Generally, Hyunjin found himself smiling after a good interaction with his brother, but then Minho would go and pull the ‘protective brother’ card and suddenly he had the urge to rip Minho’s throat out. Granted, he knew Hyunjin was growing up and pretty soon his intrusions wouldn’t be seen as just a nuisance, and they would turn into more of an invasion of his personal life. But Hyunjin could see how much that realization hurt his brother, so he held back. 

Hyunjin settled into his seat as one of the first people in the lecture hall, watching as his professor rubbed his eyes and set up the slides for the class. 

On Hyunjin’s second day of class, his professor had snapped at one of the students for being late for the lecture, and it scared the shit out of the fresh-faced Hyunjin. The next day their professor apologized and used the excuse of being hungover and hungry, and it opened Hyunjin’s eyes to the fact that he wasn't in high school anymore. Hyunjin was surrounded by adults—careless and irresponsible adults, granted, but they were old enough to understand his professor’s woes. 

Still, he would never find himself arriving late, just in case he caught him on one of his professor’s bad days. 

_“Hyunjin,”_

The cheery voice startled him out of his stupor. 

“Good morning, my darling.”

Hyunjin’s eyes rolled back, though a smile still grew on his face. A fleeting thought ran through his head, _he shouldn’t have been surprised, the idiot did it every morning_. Hyunjin offered him a sparing glance as he stepped up to Hyunjin’s seat, falling back into the uncomfortable chair beside him. 

“Hi, Jisung,” Hyunjin chuckled as the intruder’s arm swung around his shoulders. 

Hyunjin also decided to ignore the way the cut of Jisung’s sleeves allowed him to get a glimpse of the muscle that was starting to form.

Han Jisung was Hyunjin’s brother’s best friend, an annoying loud-mouth who was in too many of his classes for it to be a coincidence. Jisung had been by Minho’s side for most of his life, and therefore, most of Hyunjin’s. And Jisung had been flirting with Hyunjin for as long as he could remember. 

Just as the majority of the students started to flood the hall, Jisung pulled an apple out of his bag, holding it out for Hyunjin to take. 

“I noticed that you hadn’t gone to lunch with Felix today, and I figured since you're looking _berry cute_ today—” He grabbed Hyunjin’s hand, placing the fruit into his palm. “Sorry. I didn’t have any lines for apples.”

And the pickup lines—the many, many pickup lines.

“Really? Nothing?” Hyunjin asked.

His head shook, eyes coy. 

Hyunjin aided him, shaking the apple in front of his face, _“You’re the apple of my eye?”_

“Ah…” Jisung nodded in realization, seemingly bummed for not thinking of that one before. But then suddenly a smirk flickered over his features and he was pinching Hyunjin’s cheek, “I knew you were in love with me.”

Hyunjin turned away from his grabbing hand, fighting back the urge to roll his eyes. Jisung’s talent was finding a way to flirt with him, and at times Hyunjin wondered how he was so good at it. 

Practice made perfect, he guessed. 

Hyunjin smiled. “Uh-huh.”

If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought Jisung was in love with him, as many had proclaimed they were before.

Hyunjin knew he was pretty, in a tall and smooth sort of way. He had a nice face and soft blonde hair that stayed chopped around his jaw, just long enough to where it wasn’t _too_ shaggy. His mother always had a distaste for his style, verbally frowning on the way he would bleach his so called, “perfectly beautiful natural hair”. 

Minho was pretty and Hyunjin was pretty, making the two a pretty hot commodity in high school. 

So, perhaps Jisung could want him as well—

“Hyunae told me to start eating more fruit, so she threw the apple into my bag when I wasn’t looking.”

—except for the fact that Han Jisung had a girlfriend, and he was so, _so_ painfully straight. 

Not that Hyunjin cared at all. 

“So you two are doing well?” Hyunjin asked, feigning interest as he reached into his bag and pulled out his laptop. Maybe if he was stealthy enough Hyunjin would be able to sneak in some studying while his professor went on about how traffic signs affected climate change—or whatever it was that he was talking about that week. 

No wonder why he had no idea what he was doing.

Jisung hummed, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah. She’s still bossy, but that’s just Hyunae.” 

“I heard she got into quite the discussion with Seungmin this morning.”

Hyunjin was swinging pretty low, but he wasn't the biggest fan of Hyunae to begin with, so there was a small part of him that enjoyed picking at the scabs she left behind. 

Okay, there was a pretty big part of him. 

“Don’t remind me,” Jisung grunted. “One day their fights will end with murder. And it’ll be me who’s found dead.” 

“Next time they get into an argument just slip away and let campus security deal with the mess. Let them have their little petty quarrels in the company of those that can deal with it, without losing a hand in the process. They’re assholes.” 

Hyunjin’s suggestion was in the form of a joke, but really, he meant every word. 

Hyunae easily rivaled Seungmin’s bitchiness, and in his group of friends, that statement had weight to it. Not just anyone could argue with Seungmin and step away unscathed, but she managed to do so just about every day. Hyunjin would’ve been impressed, had she ever shown him any kindness, but she hated him from day one. Hyunjin was only returning the favor by rooting for Seungmin until he somehow figured out how to kill someone with his words. 

The scholar had come close before, so Hyunjin kept his fingers crossed.

“Well that asshole is a goddess in bed,” Jisung snickered, his voice just loud enough for Hyunjin to hear. “And frankly it’s hot when someone’s bossy during sex—”

“Are we talking about Hyunae or Seungmin now?”

Jisung laughed sarcastically, throwing a sneer his way. “Bravo. You want a medal for the joke of the year?”

“Nah, I have plenty of better jokes that imply that you like boys.” Hyunjin absentmindedly glanced back towards the professor as he began the lecture, his voice as uninterested as his gaze. “Though, I have yet to make one about your secret relationship with my brother.”

Jisung nodded with fake enthusiasm and said, “That’s nice but I’m not listening to you anymore.”

“The girls on campus would pay big bucks for that sex tape.”

“Shut up before I throw up on you.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t like me.” Hyunjin pouted half-assed, typing notes that he would never use, solely because their only purpose was to make it seem like he cared. Though, by the look of it, the professor probably gave less of a shit than him anyway. 

Jisung’s teasing and inappropriate comments hardly bothered him anymore, especially since Hyunjin knew how to counter them with his own. 

“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Jisung mused, though they both knew the reason why he was taking the class was because he needed the credits and the teacher didn’t care if he botched all of his tests as long as the final was double-spaced and had his name at the top. 

“Because I’m your favorite.” Hyunjin whispered, lifting his pointer finger to his lips. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell Minho.”

“As if. Get your head out of your ass.” 

“Duly noted.”

Hyunjin loved Jisung.

Hyunjin loved him in the same way he loved his brother; he didn’t want to love him, but for whatever twisted reason, the universe made it so. Too bad Hyunjin didn’t think of Jisung as a brother—the game of life was cruel that way. It sucked that Jisung was such a good… everything. Han Jisung was a good friend, a good boyfriend, and annoyingly one of the best people Hyunjin had ever met. 

Not that Hyunjin would ever admit that to him and risk his head inflating to the size of Felix’s stuffed animal collection. 

Dammit, he really didn’t want to love that moron. 

Maybe he could just get away with being in _like_ with him instead.

* * *

“Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin’s head swiveled, just barely catching a flash of ridiculous purple hair before a hold on his wrist was stopping him mid-stride. 

_“Owie,”_ was what came out of Hyunjin’s mouth, his gaze set into a glare at his aggressor.

Though, Felix wasn’t fazed by his scowl. He was too excited—or pissed, it was hard to tell—about whatever he wanted to tell Hyunjin. But knowing him, his news probably had something to do with the meme he posted on Twitter that morning—Hyunjin did see it, and no, he wasn't very impressed. Hyunjin expected better than the overused picture of the woman yelling at that cat at the dinner table. Caption be damned, that meme wasn’t even good anymore. 

Felix was followed by his shorter but considerably stronger lackey. Without even looking at him, Hyunjin already knew Changbin’s biceps were popping under the black shirt he wore, the whole aesthetic making him look way more intimidating than he was. 

“Where were you?” Felix asked, smacking Hyunjin’s arm hard enough to gain his attention. “You didn’t meet us for lunch.”

“Maybe because I don’t appreciate your abuse.” 

“ _Haha_. Seriously,” Felix griped, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why’d you ditch me?”

Hyunjin had been friends with Felix for who knows how long, but he would never get used to how needy the boy was. Hyunjin and his brother sure grabbed a couple of good ones. 

“I had to study.” Hyunjin admitted with a huff, though he already knew his excuse wouldn’t be enough for Felix. 

“Okay, one—you never do that.” He countered before flashing Hyunjin a look. “And two— _liar_.”

Hyunjin set his gaze on Changbin for some support, but the boy simply avoided his eyes as his way of saying “you’re on your own here”.

Hyunjin turned back to Felix with a groan. Changbin never helped him ever, the bastard. 

“Lix, I have a dumb test in statistics next week and for whatever reason, all I can remember right now is that the SREB3 gene in zebrafish can cure cancer or something.”

“That has nothing to do with statistics—”

“And is also very wrong. Are you even paying attention in biology?” Changbin asked, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. 

Hyunjin motioned to Changbin to prove his point. “Hence the reason why I was in the library.”

Felix suddenly tilted his head back and did that _thing_ where he looked like he was trying to convince himself that living was worth it. 

He sighed. “Okay, I’m calling Seungmin—”

At his words, Hyunjin all but shrieked, a hand swatting Felix’s shoulder instinctively.

Seungmin was a friend of Hyunjin’s, sure, but holy hell when he was the target of the spectacled boy’s anger and frustration, it wasn’t as fun as it was just being a spectator. But the tutor-tutee relationship between the two of them could only be classified as _rocky_ considering Seungmin felt the need to tell Hyunjin just how much he wanted to, quote, “throw a rock at his head”. Ironically enough, the feeling was mutual. 

But Hyunjin would never say that to Seungmin’s face because that would most likely lead him to complete the task.

“You promised to never do that to me again!” Hyunjin cried, throwing himself against Felix’s boney shoulder. 

It was Felix’s turn to look at Changbin and search for help, but he was met with the same passive reaction as Hyunjin had received. Honestly, he didn’t know why anyone tried anymore. 

“He’s not that bad, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin gaped, disbelieving of his friend’s words. “You can’t be serious. He’s the devil! He preys on the weak, and then spits out their bones, Felix.”

“He tutored you once and you got a ninety-eight on your exam.”

“After hours of torture and anguish.” 

Felix gave Hyunjin an unsympathetic look before plucking his phone from Changbin’s back pocket, “I’m calling him.”

With a glare, Hyunjin folded his arms over his chest. “Remember this moment the next time you ask me to revise your Tinder bio.” 

“Joke’s on you. Changbin gives better advice and he doesn’t laugh at me.”

Hyunjin snorted despite himself. 

But before Felix could lift the phone to his ear, Changbin’s began to ring obnoxiously in his pocket, and Hyunjin was ready to bow and praise whichever deity in the sky that decided to bless him with such luck. 

And like a child, he stuck out his tongue. 

“What’s up?” Changbin hummed, turning away from the two others. “Did you get all of your stuff in the apartment yet…?”

Changbin and Minho were roommates and had been since Changbin was a freshman. The two worked well together in the sense that they were both loud as hell and could (and hopefully never will) sleep through a stampede of elephants in their living room. 

Felix slipped his phone into his pocket, unabashedly listening to the conversation just as Hyunjin. 

“They must’ve finally found someone interested in moving in.”

They had always talked about renting with someone else, but along with being the worst people to live with, the duo was picky as hell. Pigs would fly and snowballs would be living in hell the moment they let someone else move in with them. 

“Okay, but is Minho going to let you turn the office into a recording room?”

Hyunjin froze, a remark on the tip of his tongue. 

Changbin was talking on the phone about recording—an activity that Hyunjin knew for a fact that only two people in his life had ever taken part in—and moving into Minho and Changbin’s shared apartment. 

Now, he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but connecting all the dots wasn’t too difficult. 

_“Are you crazy?”_

Not only was the idea of Jisung moving into Minho’s apartment a terrible one, but it would also compromise the only place Hyunjin could relax in peace. Hyunjin’s dorm was hell (for reasons he didn’t want to relive) and he wasn't allowed anywhere near the other dorms. Hyunjin was currently on the RA’s shit-list ever since the misunderstanding that went down last semester—

Bad timing for a room check one night when he, Felix, and Seungmin were in a compromising position.

If Jisung moved in with Minho, Hyunjin would then be spending more time with him, and all the hard work he spent on keeping his distance would’ve been for nothing. Hyunjin would probably see Jisung’s monster of a girlfriend around regularly as well, and he didn’t want to witness any of that in his lifetime. 

Time to welcome the snowballs to hell, because that was where he was headed. 

Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, Hyunjin positioned himself to run.

“Lix, I’m sorry but I have to go beat some sense into my brother! Maybe we can talk to Seungmin on a day when I feel like dying from blunt force trauma!”

Hyunjin didn’t bother to wait for the yelling as he took off through the quad. 

The wind slapped him in the face the moment he was away from the cover of the university buildings, and he was suddenly second-guessing the escapade. Though, Hyunjin simply chalked his reluctance up to laziness and continued forward. Minho’s apartment wasn’t far from the university, and after his little stunt in the library, Hyunjin was looking forward to kicking his ass in the privacy of his home. 

Hyunjin pulled the spare key from his bag as he finally approached the complex, eager to get away from the nipping wind. Because fuck him for wearing a t-shirt in forty-degree weather.

Pushing the door open, Hyunjin threw his bag inside recklessly, “Minho, you flat-faced asshole. You better tell me right now that Jisung isn’t your new—” 

But he screeched to a stop as his eyes locked onto someone who definitely wasn’t Minho. 

“Roommate.” 

Hyunjin swallowed. 

A man with perfectly styled black hair and no sleeves on his shirt sat on the couch, a pair of thick headphones covering his ears and a laptop resting on his thick thighs. The stranger’s eyes darted up to meet Hyunjin’s gaze as the door closed behind him, and a single brow raised as Hyunjin stood in front him in a stupor. 

“Hello,” he pulled his headphones down to hang around his neck, cocking his head in amusement. “I am neither Minho nor Jisung, and I really hope I’m not a flat-faced asshole. Can I help you?” 

Hyunjin floundered for a second, mouth open, “I mean—I was looking for my brother. Changbin was on the phone with their new roommate, and I just assumed…”

“You thought that Jisung was his new roommate?” Minho’s supposed roommate snickered, carefully placing his labeled laptop onto the couch and lifting to his feet. 

Hyunjin was tempted to hang his head in shame and leave with his confidence shattered. But the new, attractive gaze was enough to convince him to stay put. 

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Well,” the stranger’s expression softened, his hand reaching forward. “I’m Chan. Your brother’s new roommate.”

Hyunjin gave his hand a quick glance before taking it. 

“I’m Hyunjin.”

“Nice to meet you.”

New roommate: not as terrible as he expected it to be. 

The more he looked at Chan, the more he wanted to tell him how beautiful he was. Though Hyunjin would have to be delusional to actually admit that out loud to a complete stranger, it was surprisingly tempting. 

And… he was still holding Chan’s hand. 

“Oh, uh—sorry.”

Releasing his grip, Hyunjin laughed awkwardly, feeling the heat rise up his face and engulf his ears. 

Damn his brother and his affinity for making friends with every gorgeous person that crossed his path. Minho was going to kill him eventually, between his protectiveness that shattered Hyunjin’s social life and all his model-like friends that continued to claw their way into his heart. 

A pleasant beat of silence passed between the two of them while they took a second to consider each other. Chan wasn’t a conventionally beautiful person like Hyunjin, nor was he completely rough around the edges like Changbin. His hair was a bit wild, possibly due to the lack of product, but it was combed through and hung around his eyes nicely. A stark contrast from the gelled and styled boy Hyunjin had been infatuated with.

Hyunjin’s eyes fell onto the coffee table between them, neck growing warm as he realized his thoughts had drifted back to Jisung, even with such an attractive stranger standing right in front of him.

Hyunjin shut his eyes, stilling himself as he took in a deep breath.

“So…” he drawled, avoiding Chan’s amused gaze. “Recording, huh?”

That settled it, he was an idiot. 

Chan snorted out loud, finding Hyunjin’s innocent question cute.

“I’m a producer.” He supplied, shifting closer to Hyunjin in order to lean against the couch. “I haven’t been able to record my own songs for a while though. That’s why I’ve been trying to convince Minho to let me turn his office into a recording room. I have all the soundproof padding and everything, all I need is to guilt-trip him into letting me put it up.”

Hyunjin nodded in understanding, glancing over towards the not so office that Minho was using as a storage room. 

If anyone was ever surprised by the number of bundles he had in his room, they would drop dead at the sight of what was behind that door. 

It was bundle hell. 

Hyunjin’s voice rang out, “That would probably take you all day on your own. It’s pretty disastrous in there.”

“Is there an implication there?” Chan snarked, mock question in his voice. 

“I help you clean, and you show me what you have on that little laptop of yours.”

Chan hummed, eyes tracing over Hyunjin and then over to his precious laptop resting off to the side. He had always been cautious about showing people his music, there were too many outcomes that he didn’t like thinking about. But Hyunjin was looking at him with an excited little grin and he was finding it hard to say no. 

Hyunjin was dangerous.

“I can get behind that deal,” he concluded. 

“Great,” Hyunjin chirped without a second of hesitation. “Let’s go.”

But Chan’s strong grip stopped him as he attempted to pass and Hyunjin couldn’t help but focus his eyes on the veins that ran up the muscular expanse of Minho’s new roommate’s bare arms. 

Chan’s eyebrow raised, amused. “We’re just going to barge in there and start cleaning?”

“Would you rather wait for the bundles to gain consciousness and invite us in?”

Chan couldn’t help but bark a laugh at his sarcasm. “Of course not. I just wanted to ask for Minho’s permission first—”

Hyunjin paused him with the raise of his hand, “There’s one thing you will learn about my brother; _he never says yes_.”

Sensing a seriousness behind his tone, Chan nodded, suddenly open to all of his suggestions. 

“Lead the way then.” Chan encouraged, gesturing forward and releasing Hyunjin’s arm. 

“My pleasure.”

But just as he was about to reach for the handle of the spare room, Hyunjin remembered something—

The fact that he was a (stupid and unemployed) college student currently paying for a failing test grade in his statistics class.

Hyunjin cursed under his breath, pausing in his stride long enough to prompt Chan’s questioning gaze, and damn it, it was adorable the way he cocked his head to the side. 

“Something wrong?” He asked. 

Hyunjin’s face twisted in thought, “Probably…”

“And…?”

Hyunjin cleared his throat, finally pulling his eyes away from the chipping white paint of the door.

“Do you perhaps know anything about statistics?”


	2. One More?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone won’t leave Hyunjin alone, and he finds himself between and boy with a head full of rocks and a hard place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for showing so much love to this story! I know it’s not much but the sweet comments really mean a lot.

After Hyunjin’s afternoon class with him, Jisung quickly noted that he was absent for the rest of the day.

Sure, Hyunjin didn’t have any other classes, but normally he would be hunkered down in the library with his nose stuffed in some sort of book, or wandering around campus with Felix at his heels. Hyunjin was either cramming due to his procrastination or roaming around procrastinating. Jisung also knew he wasn’t a fan of staying in his small dorm room since his roommate loved flaunting the fact that he had a boyfriend and how he wasn’t shy about anyone witnessing their ‘homosexual acts of love’. And even though everyone within a mile radius could simply glance at Hyunjin and tell the pretty boy liked men, Hyunjin could only take so much gay kissing in his personal space. 

So Jisung really had no idea where Hyunjin was, and it bugged him a little more than he would like to admit.

But outwardly, he didn’t want to show just how worried he was. Hyunjin was his best friend’s little brother, it wasn’t his job to make a fuss about something so trivial. It would be weird if Jisung went looking for him… but if Minho just so happened to get word of his dear brother’s sudden disappearance, Jisung would have to help his dear friend search for him.

It was only common courtesy.

“Minho, I think Hyunjin was kidnapped.”

“You WHAT?!”

Okay, starting the phone call with that probably wasn’t the best choice, but what other choice did he have. Jisung was an impatient guy.

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened.” He replied casually, already able to hear the panic on Minho’s end of the call. “He was here and suddenly then he wasn’t.”

Not only was Jisung impatient, he was a(n idiot) songwriter; his words articulate and poetic.

Minho was silent for a second before cutting back to the call.

“I texted Changbin and he said he just ran off.”

Jisung frowned. “Does he know where Hyunjin went?”

“Apparently to beat some sense into me.”

The two friends knew then where Hyunjin was and a rush of panic filled their chests all at the same time.

_“Fuck—”_

_“—Chan.”_

Jisung nearly dropped his phone in the process of hanging up, immediately taking off towards the familiar apartment.

His worst nightmare was coming true—Chan was an unknown in Jisung’s mind. He was handsome, charismatic, and an older guy, so it was realistic to imagine he falling head-over-heels if Hyunjin was to ever meet him. Unfortunately, it seemed like fate wasn’t in his favor and he was in such deep shit if Hyunjin was really at the apartment alone with Chan.

_Alone with Chan._

Jisung shivered at the thought.

Was Chan even into guys? _Did it really matter?_ Hyunjin was so enticing, that he had seduced even the straightest of boys while they were in high school—ones that had much less of an open mind than Chan. Sure, Jisung had never seen Chan show any romantic interest in guys, but Hyunjin had always been different from _other guys._

The only brightside to the ordeal was that Minho was also aware of the dangerous situation. Out of everyone, he would be the only one to prevent any feelings from sprouting between the two. Jisung counted on Minho every time and he never once failed to perform.

Dear god, Jisung hoped he didn’t decide to stop now.

Arriving at the complex, he almost rammed full speed into Minho, who was going as fast as his legs could take him. They only shared one glance before trampling over their feet to get up the stairs, no doubt bothering the neighbors along their way.

Minho was the one to swing the door open, his head on a swivel as he walked in. He was ready to break up any inappropriate business with as much force necessary—he didn’t care if Chan’s bicep was twice the size of his head, he had leg power on his side. And if he saw Hyunjin’s tongue anywhere near Chan’s, Minho was going to be swinging.

“Chan?”

“Hyunjin?”

 _Thud_.

There was a crash behind the closed door of the office, and both heads perked up at the sound.

Minho hurried forward, arm outstretched to grab the door, “No. No no no—”

Jisung never in his life wanted to see Hyunjin involved with someone else. With his pretty eyes hooded and shining with desire, and his lithe chest heaving heavily against the tight fabric of his sweater. It had been difficult enough to watch him fill out and grow into an attractive man, he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that Hyunjin was old enough to meet other guys and moan their names. 

Jisung certainly didn’t want to hear him moan Chan’s name—of all people, why Chan?

Hwang Hyunjin might’ve been a few months older than him, but he was never able to see it, even with the both of them all grown up.

_“Shit, Chan—”_

Jisung felt his face heat up as Minho pushed the door open, ready to pull his friend away to avoid the scene on the other side.

“—get your head away from my ass! The power strip isn’t even near there, you prick!”

“Hey,” Chan defended with a laugh. “In my defense, all you said was it was over here _somewhere_. How do I know that somewhere isn’t next to your ass?”

The position that the two of them were in was compromising—though not in the way that Jisung had originally expected. It caused the two newcomers to freeze, their brains struggling to really understand what was happening.

The two were surrounded by thousands of cables and wires, black foam scattered across the floor as well. Hyunjin was on his hands and knees, the only visible part of him was his bottom half while his head was tucked underneath Chan’s mixing table doing who knows what. As for Chan, he was crawling around, same as Hyunjin, on his hands and knees with an extension cord wrapped around his broad shoulders.

“Uhm…” Minho gaped, eyes unable to focus on one part of the scene.

Jisung had no trouble at all, his eyes locked solidly on Hyunjin’s raised ass.

Unfortunately for Jisung though, Hyunjin turned his head to look over his shoulder, eyes locking with Jisung’s and immediately widening. Hyunjin couldn’t be in a worse situation—fucking hell.

In his haste to get out from under the table, Hyunjin slammed the top of his head against one of the table legs and winced as Chan cracked up from his side.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class—Jesus, ow…” Hyunjin asked, his hand moving up to rub the forming bump.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, his eyebrows brushing his bangs.

“Hyunjin wanted some help with his stats class and I needed someone to help me upturn this room and make it into a recording room.” Chan snorted at his little dramatic groans, completely unfazed by the growing frustration on Minho’s face.

But before Minho could say anything to Chan’s statement, Jisung stepped in.

His lips twisted sourly, “I thought Seungmin was going to help you with your stats stuff?”

Hyunjin shook his head with a huff. “I will not subject myself to that kind of torture and I refuse to let anyone convince me otherwise.”

“Well you could’ve asked me.”

Defeated and jealous; Jisung could no longer hide it.

The two older boys could see it clearly in the way he looked at Hyunjin with big sad eyes, though neither of them said anything. Chan’s brows furrowed in thought, it looked like Hyunjin had someone else infatuated with him.

Hyunjin laughed. “Uh-huh, because you’re the resident genius here. Jisung, you dropped two of your classes last semester because both professors were minutes away from giving you an administrative failure.”

“Yeah, yeah. Jisung’s head is full of rocks—” Minho dismissed, unsympathetic towards the scandalized boy next to him. “Why the hell are he turning my storage room into a junkyard?”

Chan finally stood, pulling the cord from his neck and throwing it to the side in favor of helping Hyunjin up.

“It was already a junkyard, bundle-boy.” Hyunjin said, voice clipped and annoyed. Who wouldn’t be after smashing their head against a solid piece of metal? “We were renovating.”

“Like hell you were. I thought I said no to the recording room?”

Minho’s rage was just about completely directed towards Chan, but to Hyunjin’s surprise, the guy gave minimal to no reaction. His face stayed indifferent, wide shoulders relaxed and eyes set.

He’ll be damned, the fucker wasn’t scared.

Chan wasn’t afraid of his brother.

There was someone on the planet who didn’t go running when Minho looked at them funny, and he was standing right next to him in his beautiful sleeveless glory. If Hyunjin hadn’t been suffering from a possible concussion he would be dropping to one knee and popping the question then and there.

“Oh, so what you said earlier was a no?” Chan (very unconvincingly) feigned innocence. “Sorry, the phone connection must’ve been bad.”

“I was yelling to you from the other room.”

“These walls are very thick, Minho. It’s your apartment, you should know that.”

“Do you want to be homeless?”

“Define; home.”

That was it, he was Hyunjin’s one true love.

As Minho began to cross his arms over his chest, squaring up to Chan with the glare of a certifiable killer, Hyunjin slid out of the way to avoid the oncoming fist fight.

Or explosion, whichever route Minho decided to take.

But then the unthinkable happened—Minho sighed, dropping his arms to his sides and turning towards his brother.

Both Hyunjin and Jisung stood speechless, because they just witnessed someone give Minho an attitude and not get beat down afterwards. Felix had once attempted the same thing and had been chased around the quad for a good forty minutes until the shorter man had gotten tired and his brother had become uninterested.

Felix told him that they were both reemed during dance practice that night for being too tired to execute their choreography.

Minho shook his head, “You and Changbin were probably going to convince me anyway. Might as well save the wasted time and get it done now.”

Either his brother had a fat crush on Chan, or the Lee Minho was afraid of someone.

Hyunjin knew Chan was older than him, but someone had to have some sort of super power to keep Minho from kicking their shins and shoving a knee in their face.

“What is happening…?” Jisung wondered, eyes wide and mouth open.

Chan smiled, striding over to clap Jisung on the shoulder, making the shorter boy jump in surprise.

“Good news. We’re getting a recording studio.”

And Hyunjin would like to get married to one Bang Chan please.

Hyunjin joined Chan’s side.

“Now you can finish that song you were working on.” Hyunjin said, nudging Jisung’s shoulder.

He was just going to ignore the sudden wave of excitement at the fact that Hyunjin remembered that he was working on a song.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jisung laughed tensely. “Looks like I’ll be around more often.”

“Yeah, definitely…”

Hyunjin nodded absentmindedly, eyes locked on the exposed skin of Chan’s arms. Chan himself didn’t acknowledge his stare, but couldn’t help the smug smile that slid onto his face.

Jisung watched the exchange and groaned, looking over to glare at Minho for failing him the only time it truly would end badly for him. Because of course Minho had to be soft for Chan and of course Chan had to be moving in.

Why couldn’t Chan just be ugly?

“Okay,” Chan sighed, placing all the wires he held into a pile on the floor. Suddenly, he turned to the taller boy, “You held up your end of the bargain. Let’s work on some stats, huh?”

Hyunjin's eyes widened for a second, caught in headlights.

“Oh,” was his smart reply, “But we didn’t get to finish?”

Chan waved it off. “The only reason we tried to get it all done was to make sure Minho couldn’t say no. Now that he’s accepted it, we don’t have to rush.”

As much as it bothered Chan not to finish a project.

Hyunjin laughed at the little punch Minho threw at Chan’s shoulder on his way out of the room, mumbling something about “going to bed before Changbin comes home to beg for food”. He also made sure to pinch Hyunjin’s cheek before leaving.

After swatting at Minho’s hand, he grinned.

“Okay, well… Let’s figure out how we’re going to do this.”

Chan mimicked his smile with a nod.

No way, Jisung thought as he followed his older friend out into the living room, no fucking way.

Hyunjin just left him without an acknowledging glance his way, and all of a sudden Jisung had a really terrible feeling about leaving him and Chan alone together. Anything could happen—kissing, fucking, god forbid Chan _talk_ to him. Hyunjin could become closer and gain feelings for the guy, which would not be a hard task considering Chan was basically the human embodiment of the sun and every damn person seemed to be pulled into his orbit after the first meeting.

Dammit, it was even difficult for Jisung to be mad at him. The guy was too lovable.

Cursing under his breath, Jisung all but ran into the living room to prevent any and all touching or deep talks, because heaven knew how much Chan talked about deep shit.

 _Ew_ , he sounded like Minho.

“You don’t have any notes at all?” Chan asked, eyebrows raised. “What do you even do in there?”

Hyunjin let out a sigh.

“Stats is where I usually do my biology work.”

“Then what do you do in biology?” Chan questioned bluntly, his eyes skimming all the lost files on Hyunjin’s computer that he had given up on ages ago.

“That’s where I write all my essays. The teacher—”

“—never stands up from his chair.”

With wide eyes, Hyunjin laughed in surprise. His mouth formed many words but nothing stumbled out, perhaps for a good reason because what he had in his head wasn’t very coherent on its own.

So he just pointed at the snickering Chan, “You…?”

Chan’s head shook and Hyunjin’s mood dropped.

“I didn’t do work for other classes,” Chan corrected, the mischievous smile slowly sliding onto his lips giving Hyunjin a little hope back. “I actually produced a whole song in that class.”

Was Jisung dreaming or was Hyunjin looking at Chan with those big, pretty bewildered eyes? Was that what was happening right in front of him? Could he be seeing things?

For once he really hoped he was going insane.

“I knew I wasn’t the only one that slacked off in that class!” Hyunjin chirped, bouncing a little in his seat.

“And I still got a one-hundred on my exam.” Chan told him pointedly before pushing the laptop to the side and leaning back on the couch.

Normally, smugness wouldn’t have been attractive to Hyunjin, but on Chan it was something else. His eyes lit up in a way that was almost pretty.

There was a pull towards him as he just sat there and looked at Hyunjin. It was something that set Hyunjin on edge in the same way it put him at ease, Chan just had such a conflicting presence and he really didn’t know how to process it. So his body pushed Hyunjin forward on it’s own, and with no complaints from him, his hand dropped to rest on Chan’s knee—

But out of the fucking blue, Jisung was throwing himself between the two, his thinner body fitting snuggly in the unfilled space. Hyunjin sputtered and Chan nearly yelped, holding his hand to his chest to placate his thudding heart.

“Jisung—what the fuck?”

“Did you just jump over the back of the couch?” Chan frowned looking over his shoulder to really determine the path Jisung took to get there.

Jisung smiled obnoxiously, “I just figured I’d help you guys out. Considering I’m also in that class.” He wiggled a little more to separate the two even more. “And three brains are better than two.”

“Not when yours is nonexistent.” Hyunjin quipped, feeling his lips pull into a pout at the intruder.

“Ah, how I love your humor.”

Jisung poked his nose with a tight lipped smile.

Sending Chan a look of apology, Hyunjin shrugged, falling back further into the couch.

“Sure, why not?” Was Chan’s response, shoulders lifting up and falling back down with a huff. “Let me help you set up some proper notes.”

Jisung clapped his hands together once to create a near deafening sound that had Hyunjin even more irritated. His happy-go-lucky mood wasn’t funny when Hyunjin was on the receiving end of the annoyance.

One nice thing—he couldn’t have one single nice thing ever.

Between his brother and his dumb best friend (that he may or may not have sorta feelings for) Hyunjin couldn’t do anything. Hyunjin's prime years were being wasted on sucky romance movies with Felix and cat fights with Jisung. Hyunjin couldn’t afford such bullshit for much longer.

“You know I love you, Hyunjin.”

“Stuff your love up your ass.”

* * *

The rest of the week passed by smoothly with minimal conflict on his end and grades that didn’t have Hyunjin contemplating slamming his face into a wall. On weekends he usually spent most of his time at Minho’s apartment while Changbin dicked around at the gym and his brother slept for the forty-eight hours that he had to himself. Normally, Hyunjin would hang around Felix in his dorm, but a certain someone— _le_ Kim Seungmin—was his best friend’s roommate and Hyunjin had no interest in being around the two of them _for reasons that he didn’t want to talk about._ At Minho’s, he could watch movies and finish his homework with no distractions. 

That was until Chan decided to move in and steal Hyunjin’s attention every moment he could. Hyunjin was even starting to suspect that he was doing it on purpose after the time Chan walked out of the bathroom in only a bath towel and responded with a “oh, I didn’t notice you there”.

Hyunjin also concluded that Felix was a snitch and no longer deserved his friendship, because once Hyunjin shared his encounter with Chan, everyone in their group of friends was wired-in to everything that concerned him and Chan.

Especially Jisung. Which eventually caused—

“Jisung why the hell are you following me?”

The boy in question didn’t bother to acknowledge Hyunjin, instead he simply continued to walk at his side, hands stuffed deep in his pockets and hair just a little messier than usual, “What do you mean? This is how I get to my next class.”

Hyunjin snorted. “Last time I checked, you had dropped your two-thirty class. And even then, it was on the other side of the building.”

Jisung couldn’t help but roll his pretty brown eyes.

“Stalker…”

“Says the guy who’s been up my ass all day.” Hyunjin chirped, taking pride in the way Jisung glared at him.

Jisung threw his hands up in frustration. He knew what he was doing was out of character, sure. But did he want to be called out on it?

“Can I not hang out with you? God, Hyunjin. We’ve known each other for years, I’d think you’d get used to me being around.”

Hyunjin merely shook his head with a laugh, continuing forward.

“You’re really something else.”

Jisung snorted, “So you’re being an adult now?”

“When am I not the adult when I’m with you? There’s no room for stupid energy with you around.” Hyunjin replied cheekily

“Well I’m sorry for hogging all the ‘stupid energy’, damn…”

The way that Jisung held up the air quotes for “stupid energy” had Hyunjin’s cheeks aching from how hard he smiled.

“Well, I’m going to lunch with Felix and Changbin right now. So unless you want to be subjected to their combined stupidity, I would suggest you go back to your dorm.” He sent Jisung a small smile over his shoulder, just barely missing the way the shorter boy tripped over his feet because of it.

Felix had called him in a rush right as Hyunjin was getting out of his last class of the day and asked him to come eat lunch with him and Changbin. It was a one sided conversation that lasted almost ten seconds but Hyunjin figured he had no other choice but to comply. Whatever reason Felix had for being in such a hurry was enough for him to listen.

“But you can come if you want, Sungie. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

 _Sungie_.

It had been a while since Hyunjin last called him that nickname—possibly way back when he was in primary school. It sent chills down his spine to hear Hyunjin call him that again.

Jisung caught up to him easily, slinging his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders just as he used to when Hyunjin began calling him Sungie. Over the years though, the boy’s insistent clinging had started to put a strain on Hyunjin, since he found it hard to differentiate when Jisung was being friendly and when he was being _too_ friendly. He was straight _and_ had a girlfriend after all, and there were only so many things Jisung could do with a guy that he could possibly be comfortable with.

But of course it never meant anything to Jisung either way, after all, it was just Hyunjin. The annoying brother that bothered them all day and called him Sungie.

Jisung didn’t have to feel embarrassed to hug or tease him or hide his insecurities behind stupid pick up lines. No matter how much it made his heart pound in his chest, he was still Minho’s baby brother—he was _Jisung’s_ baby brother.

“I’d like that, Jinnie.” Jisung said, stuffing his free hand into Hyunjin’s front pocket and pulling him closer.

So close that it almost felt domestic.

Y’know, as domestic as it could get with someone who was like a brother to him. Jisung had a beautiful girlfriend too, so the domestication was more like a… _family comfort_ and less like how it would feel if they were married and he was allowed to hold Hyunjin as close as he wanted—

“Ah, you’re warm,” Hyunjin hummed, making a small fuss of tucking himself further into the smaller boy’s hold. “It always looks like it’s going to be nice outside, but it seems like the weather changes its mind just as much as Felix does.”

Hyunjin didn’t notice but Jisung was completely lost to everything he said after “you’re warm”. He just continued to hum and nod as if his brain wasn’t completely fried.

Jisung was in the midst of a mental breakdown when Hyunjin somehow managed to lead him to the small restaurant right outside of the university. It was a popular place since it was so close and dolled out cheap food in a matter of seconds, which definitely appealed to its main demographic.

Hyunjin spotted Felix’s head of purple hair immediately, a bright smile etched onto his face as he spoke animatedly to the waiter standing at the ready. The boy was cute, black hair and pretty dimples that made him appear younger. He also looked to know Felix with how he spoke with a wide smile that showed his perfect teeth.

Hyunjin approached the table, shrugging Jisung’s arm off and ignoring the younger’s whine in protest.

“I made it,” he announced, gaining the attention of his friends—

And fuck.

Hyunjin met eyes with Seungmin sitting in the seat beside Felix, and felt his shoulders slump as the spectacled boy flashed him a smirk.

“Glad you could come, Hyunjin.” Seungmin all but sang at his visible distress.

But Felix had a hold on his arm before Hyunjin could respond with attitude, tugging him dangerously close to the waiter at his side.

“Hyunjin, this is Jeongin—” Felix gestured towards the boy who lifted his hand to wave. “He’s a school friend of Seungmin’s.”

“It’s my last year.” Jeongin added with a shy laugh.

Peeling his eyes away from Seungmin, Hyunjin got a good look at the boy in front of him. The unexpected cuteness both startled him and made his stomach flip. Hyunjin really had to withhold from squealing and pinching his cheeks. Jeongin was too cute.

Hyunjin smiled genuinely, “It’s nice to meet you, Jeonginnie.”

A small wave of red covered the waiter’s ears at the sudden nickname, his long eyelashes fluttering in surprise.

Jisung just about combusted in his spot. He was getting pretty sick and tired of keeping tabs on all the boys Hyunjin managed to hook around his finger, it was starting to get out of hand. Okay, maybe he _was_ the stalker.

In a bout of frustration, Jisung grabbed Hyunjin’s hand and interlaced their fingers, sliding into the booth beside Changbin and tugging Hyunjin after him. The taller boy made a noise of surprise as his ass connected harshly with the cracked red cushion of the booth, sending Jisung a glare.

Though, Jisung kept his eyes on the table, avoiding the amused looks on everyone’s faces, even going as far as swatting away Changbin’s poking fingers. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to release Hyunjin’s hand from his.

Jisung’s palm was sweaty in his hold, but strangely enough it was something that Hyunjin didn’t mind.

Jeongin looked between Hyunjin and Jisung for a moment before quickly coming to some sort of realization that only Felix seemed to understand. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and a small smirk was suddenly on his lips as he asked what drink he would like.

Whatever that was about, Hyunjin didn’t like it.

“I’ll just have a water.” Hyunjin answered skeptically, finally managing to pull his fingers free of Jisung’s grip.

“Water for me too.”

Jeongin didn’t bother to write down their orders, instead he just nodded and left with that same goofy smile on his face.

Why did his friends have to corrupt the poor kid?

Hyunjin sent a glare towards Felix, ready to grill him about what the hell just happened but his best friend’s eyes were on something else above his head, Felix’s lips forming into the same smirk that Jeongin had on. Whatever was either above him or behind him was either a stupid compilation video of League of Legend funny moments or Felix’s next victim.

“Care for one more?” Came from behind him.

And both Hyunjin and Jisung’s heads swiveled around at a dangerous speed to see the beautiful image of Chan, and damn was he beautiful. He was dressed for the weather, arms now covered in a long black sweater that hugged every one of his muscles so _so_ nicely, and instead of sweatpants, he was wearing jeans. Hyunjin could definitely tell the difference between a casual day around the house and one where he was going to be seen out in public—was that makeup?

And Jisung frowned. It had been going so well.

It was his turn to send Felix a glare.

The purple haired boy mouthed something along the lines of “girlfriend”, but Jisung couldn’t (he could) really make it out.

“Sit down.” Hyunjin managed to choke out, motioning toward the table.

“Hey!” Felix greeted, standing up to fully embrace Chan in a hug.

Hyunjin was floored.

“You know each other?”

Felix’s eyes flickered towards him, “We both grew up in Sydney.”

And Hyunjin thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull.

“You’re Australian?” Hyunjin gaped, watching Chan as if he had sprouted a new head.

Chan then proceeded to spout off some heavily accented words that Hyunjin could barely make sense of, and he could feel his heart practically flutter in his chest. After meeting Felix, Hyunjin never thought he’d ever find an Australian accident sexy as hell—but Chan’s was, in fact, very sexy as hell.

“Wow,” Hyunjin whistled. “What does it take for one to become Australian, because fuck.”

Chan snorted. “I think you have to be born in Australia unfortunately.”

“Or you know,” Felix tossed sarcastically. “Live there.”

“Damn. Always the catch.”

Hyunjin sighed, almost going as far as face-palming himself and/or slamming his forehead against the table.

_Really?! Why did he have to ask such a stupid question?_

Instead he just sent Chan an embarrassed smile. “You can sit down if you aren’t planning on running away.”

“Thanks.” He laughed.

Unfortunately for Hyunjin, there were already three people in his booth and Chan wouldn’t be able to fit beside him.

Fortunately for Jisung, there were already three people in his booth and Chan wouldn’t be able to fit beside Hyunjin.

But when Chan began to slide in the seat next to Felix, Changbin suddenly jumped with a yelp, glaring at the suspicious looking Felix in front of him. The two had a very strange conversation with their eyes before Changbin was huffing a sigh and maneuvering himself to slip under the booth and (clumsily, he may add) pop out on the other side of Seungmin, ignoring the spectacled boys’ complaints as he sent Chan a smile.

Stupid plotting assholes.

“Just wanted to sit next to my… uh—”

“Boyfriend?” Hyunjin supplied, blinking at him dully.

“Yeah, my boy—hey, fuck you!”

“Sorry, were you waiting to tell people?”

Changbin then took the liberty to be the kicker instead of the kickee and sent his foot into Hyunjin’s ankle, making him hiss with a glare.

Felix nudged Chan’s hip to direct him into the spot beside Hyunjin, his mouth open in a wide smile as his best friend was further squished between both Jisung and Chan. With one boy being very broad and the other being very clingy, Hyunjin barely had any room at all.

“Hyunjin, you look a little cramped, why don’t you scoot over here a little more—?”

“Jisung, if I get any closer to you, I would be on top of you.”

Hey, he wasn’t completely opposed to that plan.

Jisung certainly would rather have Hyunjin on his lap than on Chan’s. He couldn’t even think about that without grasping for Hyunjin’s hand again, though he was too fast and managed to wiggle out of Jisung’s grip.

“Yeah, Hyunjin. Why don’t he just scoot over?” Felix sang, his mouth curled up in a coy little smirk that he always had carved onto his face.

“You scheming little—”

But his words were cut off by the clearing of a throat.

Seungmin leaned over the table, and the way his sleeves were rolled to his forearms was suddenly very noticeable. He looked at he with the intention to kill, and had he not been a prudish reincarnation of the devil, he would’ve thought he looked hot as fuck.

 _No one_ got mad at Felix while Seungmin was around, not even Hyunjin.

“Do you want me to retell the little incident that took place at last year’s Christmas party?”

A collective gasp went around the table, Chan being the only one who was absolutely clueless.

Felix whispered something under his breath about how “that was sworn to secrecy”, and Changbin’s wide eyes stuck to the side of Seungmin’s face like glue.

Even Jisung broke out of his jealous stupor to gulp.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.”

That was the true form of Kim Seungmin. 

“What? Do dinners like this happen all the time?” Chan asked. “Do you ever actually eat?”

As if on queue, Jeongin stepped up to the table, notepad in hand and wide eyes sparkling. “Are you guys ready to order—?”

But then Felix was dragging the boy down to his height, whispering something quickly into his ear, causing his eyes to widen. After enlarging, his gaze flickered back and forth between Hyunjin, Jisung and Chan. 

“I… will give you guys a few more minutes.”

Jeongin scurried off and Hyunjin wanted to kill everyone at the table. 

“Well, I’m going to answer my own question here and say no. There will be no eating food today.” Chan hummed, tossing his menu onto the table similar to a petulant child. 

Hyunjin huffed. What did he ever do to deserve any of this?

With both boys at either side of him, it seemed to create a visual representation of the conflict in his mind. And Seungmin looked like he was ready to pass out with how hard he was trying to hold in his laughter as Felix and Changbin simply smiled his way. 

To say that the two boys were completely clueless, would’ve been an understatement—

With Chan too busy thinking about all the food he wouldn’t be eating and Jisung preoccupied trying to grab ahold of Hyunjin’s hand, they didn’t once notice the way that the three little devils stared holes into their heads. 

“I literally can’t stand any of you.”


	3. A Date With His Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made and somehow Hyunjin finds himself on a double date with Felix, Jisung and his girlfriend?

“Don’t even think about it.”

Jisung froze in place, his eyes wide. He hadn’t even said a word and Hyunjin was already angry with him? Jisung didn’t even know how he could tell it was him—Hyunjin’s back was turned and he was staring intently down at his laptop. And Jisung certainly hadn’t expected Hyunjin to snap at him when he finally found him tucked away in the library.

“Huh?”

“If you plan on bothering me while I’m studying, I will not hesitate to throw my laptop at your head.” Hyunjin threatened, not once taking his eyes off his notes.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Jisung defended, suddenly ready to block any flying objects from hitting his head. “I just got here!”

Hyunjin turned his head to send a quick glare to him, just to make sure Jisung knew he wasn’t happy with him, before resuming his typing.

To say Hyunjin wasn’t happy with how their little dinner went the other day, would’ve been an understatement. He was currently giving the silent treatment to three of the five people who were at the table, and even though he really had no reason to be mad at Jisung, he pushed Hyunjin’s buttons so he wanted him away. Unfortunately, it seemed that Hyunjin had grown a parasite.

“Come on, Jin. Seriously?” Jisung asked.

Hyunjin's head shook, eyes rolling in dismissal.

“Yes. I’m—” he sighed, hand lifting to rub over his eyes. Hyunjin was tired and his eyes hurt. What was he studying again? “I’m serious, you asshole. I need to get this shit done and over with.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Yes.”

Even without looking at him, Hyunjin could tell Jisung was pouting, his lip pulled up and brows furrowed.

“I didn’t do anything this time!” Jisung defended, rounding the table to look him in the eye. “Why’re you mad at me?”

He sounded so much like a scolded child, it took everything in Hyunjin’s being not to just grab his stuff and leave. Though, as tempting as the thought was, Jisung would probably just follow him and he’d be right back at the start.

“You’re annoying.” Hyunjin answered simply.

Jisung stood there for a moment, watching him with too much intensity for Hyunjin’s liking. He could almost see the gears turning in the loud-mouth’s head, his eyebrows slowly forming into a frown as the seconds ticked by. It was unnerving to say the least.

But finally, Jisung sighed, reaching over to shut Hyunjin’s laptop.

Hyunjin gawked at Jisung’s blatant disregard of his words.

“I—” Hyunjin stammered, reaching out to grab Jisung’s wrist in whatever attempt he was making to stop the smaller boy’s disruptive behavior. “You can’t—!”

“When was the last time you ate?” Jisung asked, freezing Hyunjin in his spot.

When… did he eat last?

Jisung waited for his protests and whines but none came, there was just a big puff of the last bit of his resilience. Jisung rolled his eyes fondly, his way of silently saying, “yeah, exactly”. So he continued onward, pulling Hyunjin’s chair out and sliding his laptop into his bag.

“Let’s go.” He droned, grabbing Hyunjin’s hand and tugging him out of his chair.

Hyunjin released a small groan in defiance but it was short-lived as Jisung (very awkwardly) maneuvered the taller boy’s head to rest on his shoulder, one of his arms wrapping securely around Hyunjin’s waist to keep him from going limp.

It wasn’t the first time Jisung had to drag him away from the library, and it definitely wasn’t going to be the last. Hyunjin was too stubborn for his own good.

Hyunjin sighed, finally just slipping into the warmth of Jisung’s shoulder. “You don’t have to baby me, you know. I _am_ older than you.”

Hyunjin felt Jisung’s body shake in a silent chuckle.

“I know. But I want to.”

Hyunjin had always felt strange whenever Jisung took care of him. It wasn’t like Minho, who was his actual brother. Hyunjin's relationship with Jisung was something that felt both artificial and natural all at the same time. Jisung felt obligated to help him just as Minho did, but that only made things between the two of them feel fake. Though Hyunjin knew Jisung sincerely cared about his well being.

If only Jisung would stop trying to fit into that mould that Minho built around himself. Maybe then Jisung and Hyunjin could be really good friends. But that would never happen while Jisung was trying to compensate and prove whatever it was that he was trying to prove to whoever he was trying to prove it to.

Maybe after that Jisung could be more than his brother’s best friend.

With a sigh, Hyunjin draped his lanky, long body over Jisung’s shoulders, weighing him down.

“Lix is going to punch me if I miss our lunch again.” Hyunjin huffed into the fabric of his… sweater?

When did he start wearing those?

Jisung patted his arm, “Well, he won’t be punching you today. You need to eat.”

Hyunjin's eyebrow raised as he shifted enough to look at Jisung.

“And you’re going to carry me the whole way?”

“Of course.” He nodded without a second thought, a proud smile on his face. “Where are we going?”

Jisung could be really cute sometimes, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile at that realization. Jisung thrived off of making other people feel good, and when he succeeded, he got giddy.

Hyunjin struggled to pull his phone from his back pocket, scrolling through all the messages he and Felix sent that morning. Hyunjin hummed, “Felix said we were going to Haven.”

Exiting the library, Jisung groaned, “Again? We just went yesterday.”

Hyunjin shrugged against him. “He has a soft spot for Jeongin.”

Finally reaching the chilly air waiting outside of the university building, Hyunjin cursed under his breath. No matter how many layers he threw on, the autumn wind was always there to seep through them, nipping at his sensitive skin. The leaves were finally changing, which was beautiful, but he couldn’t really appreciate their beauty when the wind and rain whipped them off their branches.

It was a little like college; no matter how pretty or vibrant Hyunjin was, the whirlwind of work and studying always threw him around enough to knock him off that pedestal. Until he was bare and ready for summer to come again so he could recharge.

The cycle was a bitch.

Jisung sighed with him, his eyes gazing out at the pretty leaves as well. Gradually he adjusted Hyunjin enough so he was able to slip him off his shoulders and sneak his arm around Hyunjin’s waist instead. The extra padding of Hyunjin’s sweater was nice against his cheek, bringing just a little bit of extra warmth.

Jisung peaked at him out of the corner of his eye, looking forward again to avoid being caught in the action.

“Do you want to take the bus? It’ll take a little longer, but at least we won’t blow away.” Jisung suggested with a small snicker as his bangs whipped around his eyes.

Hyunjin considered it, hands finding warmth in the fabric of his grey pullover.

“Sure, but it’ll probably be packed since everyone is getting out of class.”

Jisung looked to be weighing the options in his head, but suddenly he was at a standstill, his once-limp arm going completely stiff around Hyunjin.

“Ji?” A delicate voice rang, followed by a small laugh. “I called you twice, baby. Where were you?”

 _Ew_ , Hyunjin frowned, _what a dumb movie moment._

Hyunae stopped in front of them, her tawny locks swinging in a pretty braid at her ribs and her thick sweatshirt hanging loosely down around her thighs. Hyunjin knew it was Jisung’s—he had seen him wearing it before. Hell, he’d even seen Minho wearing it.

She wasn’t in anything extravagant or flashy, but with her honest eyes and round cheeks, she didn’t have to be to stand out from everyone else in the world.

The moment her eyes made a sweep of Jisung’s frozen position, they flickered to Hyunjin, her face slowly settling into something akin to a frown. It was a look that could make anyone feel sad, her face looked unnatural when sullen.

With a nudge from Hyunjin, Jisung jumped to his girlfriend’s side, leaving the elder exposed to the chilling wind.

Boys were stupid, weren’t they?

“Sorry, angel—”

Oh, _gag_.

“—Hyunjin stuffed himself in the library. Someone had to pull him out for some air.”

He smiled down at her, unconsciously maneuvering his body in the way of the violent wind, shielding her small frame.

She nodded slowly, again looking over towards Hyunjin.

“Okay. But Ji,” she paused, grabbing his hand to gain his attention. “You know how I feel about you being affectionate towards other people, right…?”

Jealous, insecure, though _not completely irrational—_

Jisung bent closer to her, lips curled apologetically. “I know, baby. I’m sorry, but it’s like second nature with Hyunjin! He’s like a brother, you know that.”

Hyunae sighed. She was ready to spout out more choice words, but with a small smile, Jisung began to pepper her face with quick kisses, bringing a melodic giggle to her lips.

They seriously couldn’t have forgotten about him. Hyunjin was standing three feet away from them.

Hyunjin cleared his throat awkwardly, finding the flying leaves much more interesting than the display in front of him. The giggling stopped and things suddenly felt much more uncomfortable.

“I’m going to head over to Haven, okay?” Hyunjin asked, ready to speed-walk as far away from their little reunion as he possibly could.

Hyunae placed a chaste kiss to Jisung’s mouth before grabbing his hand and hooking it around her waist. She patted his stomach, fluttering her long lashes up at him, “I could go for something to eat. Can I tag along?”

Hyunjin's nose scrunched up in distaste.

She had to be laying it on thick on purpose. Hyunjin had seen the two of them together before and sure, they were a lovey-dovey couple, but did she have to look up at Jisung like he had hung the stars in the sky?

Jisung wasn’t any better, his cheeks a nice rosy color, and his hands touching all the little curves of her waist.

Every moment he was within range of Hyunae, Hyunjin was ignored. She wasn’t outwardly an attention seeker, but just her being there called everyone’s eyes. Not that he wanted to be the center of attention necessarily, it only bothered Hyunjin when he spoke out and was completely brushed off. Hyunjin's words going in one ear and out the other with both Hyunae and Jisung, it was frustrating.

They were always in their own little world, and he couldn’t have been the only one who didn’t want to be there to witness it.

“Yeah,” Jisung nodded obediently. “Of course you can, sunshine.”

Well, if he hadn’t been hungry before, he definitely wasn’t now.

Hyunjin deadpanned, spinning on his heel, “Great. I’ll be on the bus then.”

“We’re definitely going on the bus though. Your pants look too thin to be walking around in this weather.”

Hyunae giggled at her boyfriend’s words.

Maybe Hyunjin could lose them and take the next bus back to his dorm.

Hyunjin wasn’t being petty—no one liked being ignored. That was a fact. Stepping up to the campus bus stop, the last of the crowd was piling into the bright blue vehicle, and he released a relieved sigh. The last thing he wanted to do was sit and wait for ten minutes while Jisung and Hyunae cooed and pinched each other’s cheeks.

Hyunjin's relief proved to be in vain, however, as he slid into the last remaining seat, only to be followed by the couple. They stood directly in front of him, their shadow casting down and becoming the only thing he could see.

Never had Hyunjin thought that he would be able to feel his stomach flipping upside-down inside of him as Hyunae pulled Jisung down into a kiss in front of everyone in the crowded bus. Would he really be committing a crime if he threw them out the window? Could it be considered a public service?

“Babe, stop! There are people here…”

 _Seriously_ , what kind of sadistic soap opera was he living in?

Hyunjin nearly slammed his forehead against the seat in front of him, but a laugh from his side pulled him from his decision. His head spun toward the stranger—Hyunjin had been so caught up in hating the dumb couple at his side that he didn’t even notice the really _really_ cute guy sat at his side. Hyunjin recognized him. The guy was in a couple of his classes, he believed Minjun was his name, but since the guy was so shy, Hyunjin never really made the effort to talk to him. 

He had sandy blonde hair that bushed his long lashes and a pretty beauty mark under his bottom lip, but it was the permanent blush that covered his cheeks that had Hyunjin internally smirking. 

What harm could come from a little flirting? 

* * *

Jisung was livid.

How was he supposed to kiss and be all cuddly with his absolutely gorgeous girlfriend when Hyunjin was blatantly throwing himself all over the boy in the seat beside him. He had his signature flirty smirk plastered on his face, and Jisung could tell that he already had the kid eating out of the palm of his hand. 

How cruel could he be?

Jisung glared at the unsuspecting couple, his hand tightening on Hyunae’s waist. But he only felt true boiling anger when Hyunjin peaked over to catch Jisung’s gaze and had the audacity to _wink_ at him. 

“Ji, what’s wrong—?”

But Jisung’s mouth was quickly covering hers in an instant, pushing her against the seat and causing her arm to brush Hyunjin’s broad shoulder. Hyunae squeaked at the suddenness, but melted into her boyfriend’s lips nonetheless. 

Hyunjin bristled, feeling his gut twist as Jisung’s eyes met his again, much more smug than the last time. 

“Fucking gross…” Hyunjin hissed under his breath, scooting closer to Minjun.

_If Jisung wanted to compete like children, Hyunjin would do so gladly._

“Do you know them?” Minjun asked, the awkwardness clear in his voice. 

Hyunjin shrugged, eyes locked onto Jisung’s, “Nope. Guess they’re just some couple.”

Jisung broke away from Hyunae, cheeks aflame— _that’s it._

But their stop was being announced and Hyunjin was smirking once again. 

Slowly, he trailed his hand over Minjun’s rather impressive bicep—of course Hyunjin would feel up the guy’s arms, it was a well known fact that Hwang Hyunjin _loved_ arms—and sent him a sultry gaze before sliding out of his seat and waving goodbye to his new friend. 

Jisung was once again seeing red.

The moment Hyunjin was met with the cold outside once again, he felt his stomach tumble with guilt. He knew his little stunt had made Jisung angry, but his victory was short-lived, and Hyunjin knew so as he watched the couple follow him out of the bus. Hyunjin groaned under his breath—he was still alone. 

_Great._

Hyunjin was going to order a cup of coffee and leave with a stomachache—that was his plan.

Maybe Minho would be home and Hyunjin would be able to slide into his bed and beg for him to cuddle. Not that there was a particular reason why Hyunjin was suddenly feeling needy and void of attention, Minho was just kind of squishy and made a good pillow on occasions where Hyunjin had to force himself to sleep before he attempted to squeeze more studying in.

“It took you long enough to get here.” Felix called as Hyunjin slid into the seat beside him, waving off the confused look he sent. Hyunjin simply motioned towards the smiling couple and watched as his best friend’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, yeah. Okay.”

Hyunjin deadpanned, “Quick, kill me before they get here. We can both get out of this.”

“No way, you get the easy way out. I’m here stuck with murder.”

Hyunjin patted his shoulder sympathetically, the sides of his mouth finally twitching at the corners.

“Trust me, jail for life is better than five minutes around these two.”

“You’re being dramatic. Let the young couple be gross.” Felix said as he nudged at his friend’s arm.

“Screw you and your dumb romantic heart. To normal people this is bordering on public indecency.”

Felix’s lip curled at the side as the two sat down on the other side of the table, Hyunae grabbed one menu for the both of them and opened it to discuss amongst themselves and they had to be covering every single disgusting couple trope out there. No matter how many times Hyunjin witnessed it, it would always surprise him as to just how much he wanted to throw up.

But it was when Felix mouthed the word “jealous” did he determine that his day was just going to be shitty and he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

“Did you order yet, Lix?” Jisung chimed, his voice almost sounding brighter than it had before. Did Hyunae really affect him that much?

“No. I was waiting for Hyunjin to get here.” He shrugged, holding up his own menu.

Hyunae looked up, her eyes shining with worry.

_Gross._

“I hope we didn’t intrude or anything.”

Who even said “intrude” anymore?

Felix shook his head. “You’re fine. Hyunjin is usually a bummer to eat with anyway.”

Hyunae glanced Hyunjin’s way before chuckling, shaking her head as she refocused back on Jisung who was desperately trying to show her something on the laminated sheet in front of them. He was actually a child.

Who got excited about menus? He ordered the same thing every time he ate at Haven, what was there to be excited about?

“What can I get you guys?”

Jeongin’s smile just barely lifted his mood, and Hyunjin was grateful.

Felix set his menu down, “I’ll just have a Coke, and I wanted to know if I could order off the dinner list?”

And with that question, his mood was immediately diminished. Hyunjin frowned, sending Felix a look similar to disgust.

What kind of day was he having?

“Can it even be considered dinner? It’s four o’clock, who eats dinner at four in the afternoon?”

“It’s called the early bird special, you disrespectful baby. Old people do this shit all the time.” Felix pointed, sliding his menu across the table to Jeongin.

“Sorry that I don’t know the routine of old people, Felix.”

Jisung frowned, his eyes trying to catch his to assess what was wrong, but Hyunjin was too busy ripping up what was left of Felix’s napkin. Though, Hyunae noticed where Jisung’s gaze was lingering, and slid her fingers through his.

“Are you okay, Hyunjin?” Hyunae asked, voice lit with the intention of lightening the mood. “You seem a little grumpy today.”

But he saw nothing humorous in her comment. Hyunjin bit his tongue, hard enough to taste the faintest of copper.

“A coffee.”

“Just—?”

“Just a coffee, Jeongin.”

The table went tense at the way his voice rose, Jeongin moving quickly to jot down his simple request, no longer looking up from his notepad. Hyunjin would’ve felt bad had he not been so frustrated with the turn out of the day.

Hyunae then cleared her throat, her brows raised in the smallest action of judgement. It was similar to the many looks she had shot at Hyunjin during one of their many masked disputes, and that was what he hated about Hyunae. Not only did she get on every one of his nerves by being the world’s best girlfriend, but she had the incredible ability to make him feel like he had done so much wrong just within the few seconds of her flashing that look.

“Okay, then. Me and Jisung will have—”

And her _“Me and Jisung,”_ that was what made his stomach churn the most.

“Sorry, Jeongin.” Hyunjin said, startling everyone, including the boy he addressed as he stood from the booth. “I’m not feeling very well. I have to go.”

“O-Okay. Feel better, Hyunjin.” Jeongin said, moving out of his way.

“Woah woah woah,” suddenly, Jisung was standing too, grabbing his arm before he could rush out the door. “Where are you going? You need to eat.”

For whatever reason, his words only infuriated Hyunjin more, feeling his ears heat and muscles tense under his grip. Was that what it took to get his attention? Hyunjin had to throw a fit before Jisung gave him the time of day?

He ripped his arm from Jisung’s hold, not even giving the table a second glance before spinning on his heel.

“Fuck off, Jisung.”

As he stormed off, throwing open the door and leaving with a huff, Jisung watched his retreating form with wide eyes. It was as if Hyunjin had slapped him, mouth gaping and brows furrowed in confusion.

_That was Hyunjin for you._

Felix sighed, suddenly feeling bad for pushing his friend’s buttons in that ordeal. “He’s tired.” He concluded, slouching in his seat.

“I’ll say… Poor baby. He’s been acting sulky since he flirted with that cutie on the bus.” Hyunae quipped, her voice soft and empathetic but in the most irritating ways.

“Hyunjin was talking to someone on the bus?” Felix perked, his wary eyes on Jisung. 

But Hyunae answered, “Yeah. I think Hyunjinnie rejected him. Which is a shame too, the guy looked really into him.”

And for whatever reason that was, Jisung really wanted to snap at her, to defend Hyunjin and tell her to quit being a bitch. But his voice was lost as he looked down at her, only able to muster up a silent scoff as he sat back down. Jisung didn’t even push away her hand when it reached for his.

What perfect timing to realize that he was afraid of his own girlfriend.

He was such an asshole.

Both Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s thoughts were very similar at that moment.

And how Hyunjin could go from leaning his head against Jisung’s warm shoulder to wanting to rip his head off was unbeknownst to him.

Hyunjin had to leave in that moment, if he hadn’t he didn’t know what he would’ve said… or screamed. Hyunjin was just so frustrated and so tired, convincing himself that no, he did not want to cry in front of everyone who was enjoying their early bird special.

There was school, all his homework creating a permanent dent in his life filled with papers and essays and tests, and there was Minho there to nag at him and chase away any boy that gave him the time of day. They had always been in his life. But now there was Jisung and Chan, new emotions and problems to throw into the mix. With everything going on, it was difficult to keep up, and Hyunjin actually missed the moments when it was just Minho there to tuck him under his arm and lecture him about boys.

In his thoughts, Hyunjin never even noticed how he completely walked past the bus stop and had come up to a quiet playground on the edge of campus. How he had managed to walk that far, he didn’t know. Perhaps it was all the pent up stress that just had him zoning out and walking, or his body was subconsciously trying to get him kidnapped so he didn’t have to deal with his problems anymore.

Hyunjin was feeling a bit better, so either way, it worked.

Finally, he found his legs carrying him to one of the swings, the black seat reminiscent of his childhood where he would always burn the backs of his legs in his hurry to get there before everyone else. That black rubber always got so damn hot.

With a small smile, Hyunjin sat down, almost disappointed to feel the coolness against his jeans.

Hyunjin's legs of course bent awkwardly under him, he wasn’t a kid anymore unfortunately and his legs had grown exponentially over the years, and it was pretty strange to push off on something that he had forgotten entirely about but had thought so highly of before. Despite it being strange, it felt nice, and he was thankful that the wind was dying down as it was getting later in the day, the sun making its way towards the ground in front of him.

Rocking himself in the swing, Hyunjin reached back for his phone. He wanted to apologize to Felix for storming off and probably worrying him, he was sort of his mother in that way. But he wasn’t really ready to squeeze back into reality like that, so he called someone else.

_“Hyunjin? What’s up?”_

Hyunjin felt his lips quirk up.

“Nothing much. What about you?”

The man on the other line hummed, the faint sound of typing just barely made out. _“This song isn’t fitting together and I kind of want to scream, so I’m doing pretty good.”_

“I think I’m doing pretty good then too.”

Hyunjin rested his head against the chain of the swing.

_“Did something happen?”_

Hyunjin made a sound that could be read similarly to “yes, but I think I’ll sound stupid if I tell you”, but it successfully pulled a laugh from the other line, so it was worth it.

“I don’t think you want to listen to my woes.”

_“I always want to listen to your woes.”_

His tone was joking, but his words were genuine, Hyunjin could tell.

And finally, he was smiling, as difficult as it had been all day, he was able to while talking to _him._ There was no Jisung, no Hyunae, no judgment. Hyunjin could talk to him without worrying, and he knew that for sure.

“And I want to throw up because of how cheesy that was.” Hyunjin retorted, using the same joking tone the other had spoken in.

There was the sound of shifting, and ruffles of fabric—as if he had just stood from his desk and fell back onto his bed.

_“Don’t make fun of me, I’m already feeling bad about my song. Now tell me about your day so I can feel better about mine.”_

Hyunjin snorted, pushing himself off on the swing once more.

“Okay, Chan. Whatever you say.”


	4. Pole Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan takes Hyunjin on a date somewhere eerily quiet, but it’s okay because he has to deal with three screaming children at home.

Hyunjin's mind was running circles, everything a blur.

Talking on the phone with Chan lifted his mood exponentially, but there was still something that ticked in the back of his head. With the way his conversation with Chan ended, Hyunjin wasn’t sure if he should’ve been jumping for joy or hiding away under his covers in hopes that no one would ever find him again.

—————

“So, I was wondering,”  _ Chan’s voice drawled over the phone. _

_ Hyunjin held back the urge to shiver in order to hear exactly what he had to say. Granted the wind had stopped, but the night air was slipping through the thin fabric of his clothes and making up for its absence. _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ Hyunjin heard Chan chuckle—surprisingly enough it sounded nervous. _

“Would you ever go on a date with a guy like me?”

_ And just with one question, Hyunjin almost fell forward off of the swing. _

_ “What are you saying?” Hyunjin uttered, eyes staring out at the bright red slide in front of him that had been dulled by the darkness. _

_ Chan cleared his throat with a small laugh, _ “Do you want to go on a date with me, Hyunjin?”

—————

Hyunjin had said yes too quickly, not just in the sense that it was embarrassing, but also because after he hung up, it really occurred to him that he would be going on a date with  _ Bang Chan. _

A date.

Had he even been on a date before?

Hyunjin wrapped his arms around his body as he contemplated the whole situation. It was dark outside despite the street lights, and even then, they were too dim to really be doing their job. But he hardly noticed, too immersed in his own head to worry about the dark or the possibility of meat-heads roaming around looking for their next meal.

Hyunjin's skin prickled, his subconscious attempting to warn him about the shadow that lurked only a few feet away.

The date. It should be easy; smile, talk to Chan without vomiting, and be sure not to make a complete fool of himself in front of the single most attractive man he had ever seen. Piece of cake.

Hyunjin mentally cursed Minho for possibly scaring him for the rest of his young life. Could he hold it over his brother if his years of desensitizing him turned him into a lonely cat-lady?

No—Minho had already taken that title, and he wasn’t sure if the universe was ready to support two financial tragedies within the same family.

The sound of footsteps fell to deaf ears, the lights of the dorms were able to be seen from his place on the street, and there wasn’t a shred of dread in his naive body. Not even when the sound of sneakers padding against tar got closer—too close for comfort had he been paying any attention. Maybe Hyunjin was too tired, or his head was too preoccupied to focus on the approaching body behind him.

Not until there was a hand wrapping around his mouth and another pinning his arms to his sides. In his shock, Hyunjin could feel the flex of his aggressor’s biceps—he was strong, and it had his heart stopping in his chest.

Hyunjin wiggled the best he could in the grip, but the man’s hold was too constricting, and he suddenly wanted to cry. How stupid could he have been to let something like this happen?

Hyunjin's heart pounded in his chest as he pleaded against the calloused hand, his legs shaking like jelly. Even through the fear, Hyunjin could tell he was taller than his captor, but his muscles were easily inferior, therefore his height was no help. Hyunjin felt sick.

His aggressor leaned closer, his lips brushing Hyunjin’s ear—mint, the one thing he could focus on was that his breath didn’t reek of alcohol like he would’ve assumed.

“Wow…” The man released a breath with a small chuckle, and Hyunjin’s brows furrowed.

The voice was familiar—

“You really are stupid. Do you realize that you would’ve been so dead if I wanted to like—take advantage of you and dump your body in a river, or something?”

Hyunjin squirmed out of the  _ stupid stupid _ strong arms of his  _ stupid stupid  _ ex-friend, his eyes set in a harsh glare as he brought his fists down on Changbin’s firm chest.

“You fucking pig!” Hyunjin screeched with rage, fists clenched even when the shorter man grabbed his wrists in between fits of laughter. Hyunjin actually wanted to stab a knife into his eye. “I can’t believe you did that! I thought I was going to die, asshole!”

Changbin snickered with a mocking coo, “I know. Poor baby…”

“You’re a sadistic bastard.”

“Just think—” Changbin released his hands, only to block the oncoming smack that he sent. “You won’t make this mistake again, stupid-head.”

Hyunjin huffed, wrapping his arms around his body again and continuing forward, his pulse more intense than it had been before. “What if I had gone into cardiac arrest or something? You would’ve been fucked in more ways than one. Do you know what they do to rapists in prison?”

“Hyunjin,” Changbin chuckled under his breath, meeting Hyunjin’s stride easily. “I didn’t rape you, in case you didn’t notice.”

“But if I died, that’s what it would’ve looked like! And suddenly you’re in concrete hell.”

Changbin shook his head. “God—just be more careful next time you decide to walk alone in the middle of the night. Call one of us to give you a ride or something.”

Guilt gnawed at Hyunjin’s skin, and he sent Changbin a sulky pout. He was right. If something really had happened, he would’ve been fucked. Unless the guy was thinner than a twig and had a shit center of gravity, Hyunjin’s chances of getting out of that kind of danger was unlikely. Damn Changbin and his infuriatingly true points.

Hyunjin let out a groan as the man beside him casually slung his arm around his shoulders.

“Fine. You’re right. Happy?”

Changbin’s head turned to him and he released another coo, his forehead pressing against Hyunjin’s and successfully annoying the shit out of him. How everyone else dealt with him was a true mystery.

Changbin was supposed to be older than him?

The pitch of Changbin’s voice raised, “Of course I am.”

Hyunjin wrenched out of his grip, swatting away his reaching hand and stepping out of his range.

Perhaps there would be a murder tonight.

“Stop being a creep and act like a normal person for once, Bin.”

Without even looking back, Hyunjin could feel the pout on his friend’s lips. But Changbin only let out a quick whine before following after Hyunjin, his hands stuffed into his jeans.

Hyunjin had hardly noticed before, but Changbin was dressed strangely—he was in a torn to shit grey t-shirt, multiple splotches of something black plastered across his torso just above the ragged seam of where the shirt ended, holes scattered everywhere exposing glimpses of his firm chest. The jeans weren’t any better, almost completely colored black by the same substance on his shirt, baring rips at the knees and not the ones he got solely for fashion.

“By the way…” Hyunjin drawled, twisting around to rake his eyes over Changbin one last time. “What were you even doing before this?”

Changbin glanced at his attire and shrugged, the smallest glow of red covering his ears. “I’ve been working on cars for some extra money.”

Hyunjin's eyebrow raised. “At night?”

“It’s the only time I have free between producing new songs and school.”

Nodding, Hyunjin turned back towards the dark street in front of him.

Changbin had never sparked him as a manual labor kind of guy, let alone someone who could fix cars and get paid for doing it. But after taking a moment to think about it, it made sense. He fit the scene, so to say, and it somehow added to the edgy look Changbin already had going on for him.

Hyunjin didn’t know as much about his friends as he probably should’ve.

“So you guys actually got the recording room done? Are you and Chan using it now?” Hyunjin asked nonchalantly, a terrible attempt to slide Chan into the conversation. Changbin must’ve known a few things about Chan that could help him quench his nerves for the upcoming date.

Changbin sent Hyunjin a sideways look, letting him know that he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was.

“Ah, Chan…” Changbin hummed, the two of them finally getting close enough to the university to discern the different buildings. “What’s up with you two?” He asked hesitantly, a hint of a frown on his brow.

“Well—I mean, I like him a lot.” Hyunjin fumbled for the right words, though he knew that Changbin wasn’t one to rush him. As annoying as he could be, Changbin was a good listener. “And he just asked me out—”

“He did?”

Well, Hyunjin  _ thought  _ he was a good listener.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Earlier he asked if I wanted to go out on a date or something—”

“Or something?”

Hyunjin shoved him to the side, though Changbin’s heavy body barely moved an inch.

“Would you stop interrupting me? I’m serious.” Hyunjin huffed, frustrated.

“I am too.”

Hyunjin froze—huh?

His eyes searched Changbin’s for a moment, his words not as comforting as Hyunjin wanted them to be, instead his questioning only made his stomach twist in more knots than they had been in before. Hyunjin really didn’t know anything about Chan, and talking to someone who did only made him hesitant about continuing with the first date.

Sure, he wasn’t one to believe rumors about people he barely knew—but it was the fact that Hyunjin barely knew Chan that made him so nervous.

“Well I’m a little surprised that Chan asked you out.”

Hyunjin frowned. “Why?”

“Uh…” Changbin paused, searching for his next words carefully with a contemplative hum. “It’s nothing bad. I mean, Chan’s one of the best people I know.”

“But…?”

Changbin stopped to wait for him to run his student ID along the sensor, listening to the automatic click of the door and using it as a stall for time. Changbin was trying to find the right way to word what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to blindside Hyunjin, nor did he want to sabotage his friend by telling Hyunjin something that might steer him away.

Changbin waited for him to take a step inside the dorms before continuing with a hushed voice.

“Chan is… very selfless let’s say. He doesn’t really take the time to date per se. He’s work oriented. Not to say he hasn’t had girlfriends before, but they never really—”

“Girlfriends?”

Changbin froze, wincing as Hyunjin eyed him carefully. 

“Uh, yeah,” Changbin cleared his throat. “Chan has never really dated a guy before.” 

_ Perfect— _ Hyunjin sighed. 

“Another straight one.” Hyunjin scoffed, dejected and admittedly embarrassed. 

Hyunjin had dealt with straight guys coming onto him before, it wasn’t a rare occurrence. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt each time. He was pretty—sure, he knew that—and that meant he had plenty of people who were interested in him, whether that be male or female. Either way, Hyunjin couldn’t tell which of those people actually wanted to pursue a relationship. 

Strangely enough, his best friend had been one of those people. 

Felix was in his class, the short Australian was aloof when he moved to Korea and he knew next to nothing about the culture or language. But he was still capable of making friends and forging relationships. The first day Hyunjin met Felix, the boy confessed his love for him. It was full of mispronounced words and silly analogies, but Hyunjin knew what it was. The boy wasn’t a stranger to love confessions. 

But in came Minho; his eyes set dangerously on Felix, ready to shake and threaten him out of their lives. 

Perhaps had Felix understood what Minho was saying, he would’ve fled. He didn’t, so then came the countless declarations day after day. He would meet Hyunjin at his locker after lunch, spew his little heart out and be met with Minho’s wrath. The cycle continued through their second year of high school, eventually becoming routine, unknown to them. Hyunjin grew fond of Felix too, his constant compliments and positivity was refreshing in a sense. 

That was until it grew into something else, the compliments turning into conversation and the love confessions turning into casual remarks. 

Felix wasn’t in love with him, and that was okay.

Nothing romantic came of it, and that was how Hyunjin knew it would be forever—never falling in love, but always being alright with the outcome. Some people stayed, and some didn't, and he was more than glad to have Felix by his side after everything. 

Even if it did mean it was all fake after all. 

Hyunjin was wary of romance, but he wasn’t sure if it was because Minho prevented it or if he just didn’t want it. 

That was what he had been contemplating. If the date went wrong, could he talk to Chan afterwards? Would he still be that person he could call if he wanted to step away from the world? Hyunjin couldn’t find himself feeling upset if that happened to be the outcome.

But with the small look of suspicion that Changbin sent, his brow curling upwards, he quickly backpedaled.

“I mean, I’m not assuming of course!” Hyunjin rushed to save himself.

Taking his answer without question, Changbin stopped. They were both standing outside of Hyunjin’s room, the quiet hallway encasing the both of them and chilling Hyunjin to the bone more than the night air had. Changbin bit his tongue.

“Chan is an amazing friend. But I’ve never really seen him as a boyfriend before.” He sighed, scratching his cheek. “And as much of a little shit you are… I care about you enough to want you to be happy.”

“Is this you warning me?”

“No.” Changbin’s mouth formed a thin line, he really had no idea how to word anything. It was beginning to frustrate him. “Just be aware that he isn’t the most observant guy when it comes to himself, so be patient with the guy.”

Okay, that helped him none whatsoever.

Hyunjin sighed, pushing his dorm door open and nodding finally to Changbin.

“Well, thank you, Bin. For walking me and all that…”

Hyunjin's gratitude was pitiful, but Changbin smiled wide nonetheless, glad that he could help the younger out despite his advice being absolutely terrible.

“Anytime, Hyunjin.” Changbin ruffled his hair before Hyunjin could stop him. “But next time, call me before you decide to be stupid and walk alone agian, okay?”

Hyunjin smiled.

“Yeah. I promise, Bin. Thanks—seriously.”

As he closed the door, he missed the way Changbin’s lip quirked, his ears once again shining a red in the dim lighting of the hallway. He chuckled, shaking his head.

He wished both Chan and Jisung luck—that boy really was a handful.

—————

“So this is a date?”

Hyunjin had absolutely no idea what to say, his nervous gaze on the road as Chan glanced over at him from his place behind the wheel of his beloved Subaru Crosstrek—Chan had gone on a cute spiel about how he managed to scrounge up enough money from producing his tracks to afford the down payment on the car. It was cute only because he giggled every time he mentioned some miniscule detail that wasn’t necessary for the development of the story.

He always apologized when he got off track, but those were Hyunjin’s favorite parts.

_ And he still had no idea what to say. _

“Yeah, Hyunjin. A date. Have you ever been on one of those before?” Chan joked, taking another turn into yet another neighborhood.

They had to have gone down at least four streets already—

“Does a slow dance at a mediocre prom count?”

“A what?”

Hyunjin snorted, feeling the telltale heat of his cheeks reddening. Hyunjin were such a loser, the best he could do was tell him about his failed relationships?

“I mean, Jung Wooyoung was pretty hot, so I guess it could count. Granted, Minho stepped in before he could kiss me at the end of the song.”

“You’re kidding.” Chan looked close to ripping his cheeks with how wide his smile was stretching.

Hyunjin’s eyes flickered to him and a shiver ran down his spine at the way he took one hand off the wheel and leaned against the center console. Hyunjin was either terrified of him crashing or really turned on by the way his biceps bulged at the movement.

He loved arms, after all.

Hyunjin cleared his throat, “Minho was always really adamant about keeping me away from all the funny business.”

“You’re  _ kidding _ .”

“Unfortunately not. My brother sucks.”

Chan burst out laughing. “That’s why he pulled that, ‘what are his intentions with my baby brother’ act?”

“He didn’t.”

“He did. But he backed off so quickly, I was convinced that it was a joke.”

Hyunjin nearly choked, his eyes widening as he suddenly threw himself around to look at Chan, unable to feel surprised at the way he was already looking at him with a charming smile.

“He did what?”

“Yeah,” Chan shrugged, shifting back to look at the road. “I asked him why it mattered and he just kind of backed off.”

That was right _ —Minho was scared of Chan. _

Hyunjin would never forget that fun fact for as long as he lived, and it was all thanks to Bang Chan. It really had him rethinking the whole reason why he was nervous in the first place. Chan was the only person in his life that had managed to get rid of stress rather than add to it, and he was obviously worried over nothing. Chan was amazing.

And he was crazy.

Hyunjin laughed, catching the elder’s attention, Chan’s eyes flickering between Hyunjin’s eyes and lips without him noticing. How Hyunjin had managed to have him whipped within a matter of days was a complete mystery to him. But there he was, staring at his full lips and risking his damn life while doing so. Chan was hopeful, he wanted things to go well this time, and he was going to do everything he could to make sure of that.

“Where are you taking me, you maniac?” Hyunjin giggled in exasperation as Chan took yet another turn into a neighborhood, house stacked upon house.

Sure, it was nice to drive around with him, but Hyunjin was beginning to get antsy. Even more so as Chan continued to look over at him and smirk, his smile as infuriating as it was attractive.

“We’re almost there, hold on.”

“That doesn’t tell me where—”

Turning down a dead-end, Chan lifted his hand to his mouth with an emphasized “ _ shhh _ ”.

Maybe he was a maniac and Chan was planning on killing him as soon as he reached the end of the street. Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t be able to find his way back to the main road if he tried, so it was definitely a possibility.

“Don’t worry about it.” Chan hushed.

With a small scoff, Hyunjin puckered his lips in a pout and they briefly brushed against the palm of Chan’s hand. With the action, Chan’s eyes widened as his head snapped in Hyunjin’s direction. Immediately, Hyunjin’s lips pulled into a tight line, his stomach tying up in knots as Chan dropped his hand and let it fall to his thigh, causing Hyunjin’s whole body to go rigid. What was wrong with him?

Chan chuckled, patting Hyunjin’s thigh in an attempt to dissolve his tenseness, but it only proved to make his clothes feel much tighter than they had been before. Hyunjin was physically going to melt into the seat with how hot he was getting, and he sure as hell hoped he wasn’t sweating as much as he thought he was.

But the feeling of Chan’s hand wasn’t unpleasant—it was warm, but not so much that it was uncomfortable, which was surprising considering how Hyunjin’s skin was close to melting off the bone. It simply rested there, occasionally Chan drummed a nonexistent beat with his first two fingers, though Hyunjin suspected that he hadn’t even noticed that he had been doing that.

Without Hyunjin realizing, Chan pulled the car into park, his eyes amused as he watched Hyunjin stare at his hand for a little longer.

Something else—he definitely was.

“We’re here.” Chan said, lifting his hand away from Hyunjin’s thigh to pull the key from the ignition.

Hyunjin wasn’t upset that Chan had moved his hand, but he couldn’t deny that disappointment had started to bubble up.

Looking out his window, he noticed that they were, in fact, at the end of the dead-end road. But instead of a dense thicket of trees or a mountain of concrete blocking it off, there sat a decrepit and grey building. The maroon of the bricks had been worn and chipped, and the large barn looking doors were rusted and close to falling off their hinges. Hyunjin could tell that it had once been beautiful with the large stone bird watching over on a centered pedestal.

Chan opened his door to get out and he followed, despite how strange it might’ve been that he took Hyunjin to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere.

“What is this?” Hyunjin asked, almost shell shocked at the sheer size of the building as they both stepped closer.

“It’s an old fire station.”

Old didn’t do the place justice—every new fire station he had seen was pristine and white, large open door garages lining the first floor. The one in front of them was nothing like the ones in town.

“I used to live in this neighborhood before I moved to Sydney. I was very young and don’t really remember much about it, but I do remember this place.” Chan smiled, looking up at the two storied building. “When I came back I never expected it to be still standing after fifteen years. I thought the town would’ve torn it down and built a convenience store there or something, but nope, it’s still here.”

It was nice to see Chan’s face light up while talking about something he cared about. It was endearing.

He then grabbed Hyunjin’s hand with a small wink and dragged him forward, though he didn’t put up much of a fight at all. Every part of him screamed about how nice Chan’s hand felt around his, how his palms weren’t too calloused to be rough but enough to want them all over the rest of his body. His pale skin pretty with the contrast of his raised veins. Veiny hands were nice… Hyunjin really was just reverting back to his horny high school self, wasn’t he?

Hyunjin cleared his throat.

“But why did you bring me here?” Hyunjin questioned, looking warily at the back of Chan’s head.

Hyunjin wasn't scared, but he was almost certain that a building that was decades old wasn’t a normal date site.

“Why not?” Chan shrugged, hoping to god that Hyunjin couldn’t see just how terrified he was.

“Maybe because I was expecting to go watch a movie or go to a restaurant?”

He glanced back with a raised brow. “Do you want to do those things?”

“I’d rather chew off my foot,” Hyunjin admitted, catching Chan off guard for a moment. “But I’m trying to make you feel like the weird one here.”

Weird one indeed. Chan had spent the entire night before without sleep, not coming up with a new track, but thinking of where exactly to bring Hyunjin. He contemplated how to explain the reason why he was so exhausted and jittery—simply, he didn’t want Hyunjin to leave the date thinking that he was some average guy. Chan didn’t want him to think he was boring. So he could be weird if it meant Hyunjin wanted to see him again.

They shared a smile, the nerves fading away with each passing second. Of course, Chan had nothing to worry about.

Chan proceeded to pull him through the old rickety door of the station, all the while Hyunjin was completely ignoring the way the visible slivers of his chest flexed when he tugged the door open with one good yank. Now that Hyunjin was actually thinking about it, Chan’s outfit was one of the best he’d seen him in; a simple black muscle tee topped with a heavy denim jacket, his jeans whitewashed and ripped.

It was simple but effective considering Hyunjin couldn’t keep his eyes off the strips of flesh that peaked behind his jacket. If only the autumn breeze had taken a day off.

The further the two of them got into the building, the more excited Chan looked. His eyes lit up and there was suddenly a bounce in his step. Not to mention the way Chan’s grip on his hand tightened to the point where he was nearly cutting off the circulation. But it was nice nonetheless. Hyunjin didn’t have the heart to be upset with him.

Hyunjin's eyes flew around to all the different old contraptions that must’ve been shiny in their prime. With torn hoses all over the place, and precariously placed pipes, he had no idea whether to be amazed that they hadn’t succumbed to the elements or terrified that if he took one wrong step he would fall and get impaled.

Looking over at Chan, Hyunjin giggled as he began to unravel a wound up hose, momentarily releasing his hand to act like a complete child.

“So what was your plan when we got here? Get me in a secluded place so you could tie me up and kill me?” Hyunjin teased, offering him a smile.

Chan wanted to do two of those three things—that was for sure.

“What? You don’t want to explore this magnificent building with me?” He asked despite himself.

“So you didn’t plan some elaborate picnic with candles and fancy homemade French food?”

Chan paused for a moment, lips fighting a smile. Hyunjin had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment the two met. The hours of preparation was for naught, and Chan could care less.

Chan hummed, “Well if you mean a blanket on the floor and take-out, then yeah. No candles though. I have a bad feeling that if we were to light any fire within ten miles of this place it would turn to dust. Which would be pretty ironic considering it is a fire station—”

“Are you rambling?”

Chan froze, mouth open to deny his question, but found that it wasn’t completely false and shut it.

_ “…it’s probably cold too.”  _ He added lastly.

Hyunjin smiled.

“Sounds good to me.”

Hyunjin then proceeded to struggle his way up a flight of unstable spiral stairs with Chan close behind—so close that his arms were almost completely around his thin waist. Chan assured him that it was only so he wouldn’t be at fault if he fell. But it felt nice whenever Chan’s chest brushed lightly against his back, so Hyunjin let his lame excuse slide.

The food was, in fact, cold. But it was still good since you really couldn’t go wrong with traditional Korean food.

And so the rest of the evening played out, the two sharing pleasantries and learning about one another, with many cracked jokes about Hyunjin’s brother and his friends, only strategically avoiding Jisung all together.

Chan went on about his story, how he had two younger siblings back in Australia and a set of loving parents that believed in each and every one of his dreams as he grew up, and supported his pursuit of becoming a producer. Hyunjin bit his tongue, keeping his questions of “do you miss them?” and “do you still see them?” to himself. Still, Chan seemed happy enough, he thought. Considering Hyunjin would be miserable if he had to spend his time with someone who complained and sulked the whole time. He was glad Chan could talk about his family without falling into a pit of missing them.

That date was pretty perfect, despite its oddities.

Who knew someone could be a by-the-book romantic and an original dork at the same time?

Hyunjin's own thoughts had him chuckling into his water, almost making him cough, but thankfully Chan hadn’t noticed, his attention too zeroed in on all the food in front of him.

“ _ Oh shit— _ I forgot all about that thing!” Chan suddenly exclaimed, his eyes locked on a rusty fireman’s pole that ran up into a hole in the floor. Chan hadn’t even finished his (second) bowl of food when he jumped up and ran up to the death trap. The thing didn’t even have any padding at the bottom to protect someone from breaking their legs, and he was excited about that?

Suddenly, Hyunjin let out a laugh—it was the kind that comes out unexpectedly and makes a loud, unattractive noise and it surprised them both. Hyunjin's hand clamped down over his mouth on impulse before his shocked expression broke, a swarm of giggles leaving his covered lips and forcing a pink tinge over his cheeks. Chan could only stare at the younger in awe, trying to think of everything else that could beat his laugh as the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, but he came up blank.

“Come down the pole with me.”

His words had Hyunjin freezing mid-laugh, eyes wide.

“What? No way am I doing that. What if I get pole burn?”

“Here,” Chan threw his jacket over Hyunjin’s shoulders, surprising him with the flood of warmth. “Now you can’t get pole burn.”

Hyunjin pushed his arms through the arms of the jacket, silently relishing in the warm weight.

“Ah, look at you Romeo. I see that you’re trying to make up for all the years I missed going on dates. How romantic.”

“I try.”

With a wink, Chan was grabbing onto the pole all of a sudden and wrapping his legs around it. Hyunjin barely had time to stare at the image of his thick biceps curling around the pole before Chan was descending down with a laugh of his own. Hyunjin leaned forward to watch him hit the floor, his knees bending to absorb the impact. Chan smiled up at him, the sight blinding.

“Your turn!”

“Did I ever mention that I’m kind of allergic to bad ideas?”

Chan snickered, leaning his hands on the pole and shaking it to show just how “sturdy” the thing was. The wiggle and creak didn’t set Hyunjin at ease, that was for sure.

“Oh, come on, Hyunjin. You just watched me do it!” Was his genius response.

The night was beginning to just be Hyunjin counting how many times Chan said or did something that made him look like a child.

“Okay, I just don’t understand why you want me to go down this damn pole! Is it some right of passage or something? Do he only go out with the guys who have the balls to do something this stupid?”

“Slide down here and find out.”

He got him there. Hyunjin really did want to find out.

So he bit the inside of his cheek and wrapped his shaky hands around the rust crusted pole. How Chan managed to do so so easily without sleeves was baffling and a little sexy for whatever stupid reason. Hyunjin had a thick layer of denim protecting him, and he still felt like he was going to be filleted open.

“Don’t think about it,” Chan encouraged with a soft voice. “Just jump. I’ve got you.”

And at the words of a poet, Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, taking a step off the wooden floor and letting gravity pull him down. Hyunjin could hear the rust tug and catch on the fabric of Chan’s jacket, but only for a moment, because it only lasted a second before he felt hands grab his sides and pillow his impact. A surge of adrenaline had him breathing heavy as Chan cheered lightly in his ear.

“There. You did it.” Chan poked Hyunjin’s forehead with a chuckle, getting him to open his blown eyes. “You have successfully completed the initiation.”

Hyunjin's heart felt heavy and beat hard against his ribs as Chan straightened him out, hands finding purchase in his jacket. Subtly he was admiring how Hyunjin looked in his clothes, but he would never admit that sappy fact to anyone.

Hyunjin smiled; admittedly shakily. “Ah, yes.  _ Validation _ . My favorite.”

Chan admired how he could keep releasing quips despite his fear. Hyunjin wasn’t one to be deterred, that was for sure.

“You have an unlimited supply of sarcasm in you, huh?”

“I don’t know. It hasn’t run out yet.”

He smiled and Hyunjin smiled, it was a good moment—the best of the day. A moment where Hyunjin was glad he listened to Chan and literally took the leap. Ready to take another one, his eyes dropped to Chan’s lips and the elder’s dropped to his.

And Chan finally leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

Hyunjin wasn’t completely caught off guard, but he definitely was. Chan’s hand that wasn’t preoccupied with fiddling with Hyunjin’s long, pretty fingers found his face, palm cupping his jaw and urging Hyunjin’s head to tilt to meet his kiss better. It was gentle, as he had expected from Chan, and he was thankful for that.

Chan’s lips were softer than he expected and he prayed that the hand that held his cheek wouldn’t be able to feel the way his face was burning. The way Chan intertwined their fingers was more intimate than the kiss itself, and he couldn’t help but feel himself getting light-headed. Hyunjin lost himself to the way their shared breaths echoed around the large room every time their lips separated only to reconnect again immediately.

Hyunjin's first kiss—well, his first real kiss. Surely that messy one he had shared with Kang Chanhee back in his first year of high school didn’t count. Hyunjin had only gotten away with it since Minho was home sick that day, anyway.

It was much warmer than the last kiss, that was for sure. Chan’s jacket kept him shielded from the cold air and his body secreted a natural heat that had Hyunjin pressing closer, which in turn sent Chan a signal to push forward as well.

Suddenly, Chan’s teeth bit down on the sensitive flesh of his lip, pulling a taut gasp from Hyunjin’s throat.

The noise had Chan withholding a groan, pushing him to break the passionate exchange, his hazy eyes meeting Hyunjin’s wide ones.

“What’s wrong?” Hyunjin asked, voice small and unsure.

Chan could see the way the taller boy’s lips shined with not only his own spit but Chan’s as well. In some sick and twisted way, he was pleased to see the redness that the kiss brought to Hyunjin’s puckered lips. It was satisfying. It was a sort of claim, and he was proud to hold it.

“Nothing. Just admiring my work.” Chan grinned.

Hyunjin hardly had time to register his words when the hand wrapped around his was used to yank him forward, Chan’s mouth finding his once again in a quick peck, leaving Hyunjin just about a hundred degrees warmer than he originally felt.


	5. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid stupid Jisung...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!WARNING!!   
> This chapter contains panic attacks and self-depreciating thoughts. Please read at your own risk.

_“Just fucking leave me alone Jisung.”_ **  
**

_“Hyunae, hold on—”_

Jisung sighed, his palm rubbing harshly into his eye to soothe the sting of oncoming tears. 

He was both devastated and relieved after his night with Hyunae. Granted, he hadn’t gotten any sleep whatsoever last night, but it was done, he really did it. Minho said he didn’t have the balls, but _he fucking did_ , so fuck Minho. 

_“No! Just… get out.”_

But there was the other side of his mind that was screaming at him for ruining a relationship that he put so much time into. It kept asking him _why_. Why did he do it? What pushed him to end it? 

The true answer stared him in the face, but just as he had done for his whole life, he denied it. 

_“I knew this was going to happen anyway. The moment I saw you looking at him. I was just waiting for you to open your fucking eyes, Jisung.”_

It had nothing to do with Hyunjin. Why would it? 

There was no romantic feeling between them, none at all. So there would be no reason for him to break up with his girlfriend on Hyunjin’s accord. But Jisung couldn’t ignore the way the taller boy ran out of the diner, and how terrified Jisung had been all night with the absence of him. Hyunjin hadn’t called him or Felix to let them know that he was fine, so of course he was worried, pacing back and forth around his girlfriend’s dorm until she snapped at him. It was possibly the worst timing for them to get into a fight, but it was also an opportunity for Jisung to _just say it_. 

He wanted to break up. 

He wouldn’t be quieted or controlled anymore. 

He was no longer going to listen to her bicker with his friends over the smallest things. 

Jisung had officially grown a backbone. 

And that had nothing to do with the comment Hyunae made after Hyunjin left. A comment that she had no place to make. She was the one in the wrong that night, but _he_ was the one being scolded and cursed at. It was always him that was at fault in the end, no matter what happened or how it happened. It was always stupid Han Jisung. 

Stupid _stupid_ Han Jisung.

To say that his dormmate was surprised to see him after months of never sleeping in his assigned bed would’ve been an understatement. But thankfully Haechan didn’t ask any questions about why Jisung’s eyes were puffy or what he was doing showing up so late at night. Jisung respected that about the normally eccentric boy. 

That night he hadn’t been plagued with nightmares of his now ex-girlfriend, but a memory of his childhood, leaving his chest feeling heavy the next morning. He remembered how scorching hot the summer sun was on the back of his neck as he sat idle on the steps of his best friend’s house. He could hear the screaming and yelling of Minho’s cracking voice, another—deeper—baritone booming over it. Jisung had always wondered how Minho could be so brazen, staring into the eyes of every new man that walked into his house. 

Minho never really talked about it, but Jisung had picked up enough over the years to know that his dad was no longer in the picture, and that caused some conflicts between Minho and the men that he thought was trying to fill that position. Jisung never met Minho and Hyunjin’s father, as he was barely six years old and hadn’t yet met Minho, but he grew to learn how much his best friend idolized the absent man. 

Jisung remembered the loud thud before the crash of something breaking. He also remembered the way his neck heated and legs trembled. But he would do as promised and wait for his friend to walk out the door so they could hop on their bikes and just get away. Minho always asked Jisung to wait for him while he planned a confrontation. 

It was taking longer than usual.

Jisung met Lee Minho when he was eight years old, during an attempt to catch frogs in a small pond in the neighborhood. His family had just moved into the area and Jisung was too shy to really approach any of the children in the houses around him so he opted to play on his own. His brother was too old to play with him, and he honestly didn’t mind. 

He got used to it and learned to entertain himself. 

Minho approached all high and mighty, asking why Jisung was trying to catch the frogs in his special frog hunting spot, but was cut short by the smaller boy apologizing profusely and stumbling over his feet to stand. Only to find himself landing on his ass and soaking his green cargo shorts in mud. Minho had barked a laugh, his mouth opening to say something, but slamming closed as a frog jumped up and collided with Jisung’s cheek, nearly scaring the life out of the already petrified boy. Minho had then jumped into the pond with giggles falling out of his lips as Jisung laughed alongside him despite the distressed tears falling down his face. 

The night ended with Minho’s mother peeling leeches from both of the crying boys, and Hyunjin making them a poorly executed cup of hot (lukewarm at best) chocolate to get rid of the sting. 

Why he thought _that_ was going to help—Jisung didn’t know. 

Though, Minho still drank it in one breath and thanked his younger brother for making the pain go away with uneven sniffs. That was the first moment Jisung witnessed Minho suppress his feelings on Hyunjin’s accord, and it certainly hadn’t been the last. Jisung didn’t blame his new friend at the time though, since he found himself eager to gulp down the drink to witness the same toothy smile Hyunjin sent to his brother—but only directed at him. 

It was worth the small stomach ache.   
  


Jisung flinched as another crash echoed through the house behind him.

_“Don’t touch him! Don’t you fucking_ dare _touch my son.”_

The voice of his friend’s mother rang clear as a bell in Jisung’s head, the usual calming tone was missing and urgency was all he could hear at that moment. The air only read _“get away”_ as he continued to listen carefully to what was happening behind the closed door. He had listened to many fights, but even after knowing Minho for three whole years none of them had escalated beyond shouting. 

Jisung’s instincts tried to kick him into gear, but he still sat there, his loyalty outweighing his better judgement.

The argument shifted between the mother and the man, Minho’s voice suddenly eerily absent. Jisung felt his heart pulse for his friend, his mind wandering to only the worst scenarios and his eyes welling up with irritating tears. But his gaze stayed unwavering, locked on the swaying tire swing he and Minho had put up themselves earlier that summer. 

The door swung open, letting the voices be heard clear from the kitchen. Jisung’s head swung around carefully to watch as Minho rushed outside, his face bright red, almost unnaturally so. He left the door open, not even bothering to close it behind him. 

_“—he tripped. I didn’t know he was going to fall, honey. I’m sorry—”_

_“If you ever lay another hand on my child, you will never see the light of day again.”_ Minho’s mother’s voice threatened, plaguing Jisung’s young mind. 

_“I would never purposefully hurt Minho—”_

Jisung had shut the door, turning on his heel to follow his friend. 

Minho had been fuming. His cheeks red—though one more red than the other, but Jisung wouldn’t once ask about it—and drenched with fresh tears, his hand furiously whipping it all away. 

Jisung watched as Minho punched and kicked at the trees and flower beds in the backyard, making a mess of the once tidy space. But he just let his friend go, not saying one word to the boy. Jisung knew that he would be acting like a baby in Minho’s situation and was baffled by his friend’s strength. Minho was Jisung’s hero back then, and he sometimes missed that feeling when he took the time to reminisce. 

It was only when Minho was somewhat calmed down, that Hyunjin walked out to check on his brother. Hyunjin’s eyes were rimmed with red and his hands fisted the fabric of his two-sizes too big shirt. 

Every fight, Hyunjin was always there to catch it all; a bystander like Jisung. 

And despite Minho’s state—a steadily swelling cheek and a darkening welt on his forehead—he still pulled Hyunjin into his arms to comfort his hiccuping form. Minho denied every worry and question that fell from Hyunjin’s wobbly lips, and Jisung had a sense of dejavu each time. 

It had been a rinse and repeat process for years; Minho would cause trouble and get into fights, and he would console Hyunjin each and every time he showed any worry. 

Neither Hyunjin nor Minho spoke about it, but Jisung knew that it was only Minho’s way of trying to protect his brother. With their dad gone, Minho moved to fill that gap, just trying too hard without a complete understanding of the line he shouldn’t cross. 

Jisung had no idea why he had that dream, but the heavy weight in his chest began to push him in wanting to see Minho.

* * *

  
Hyunjin couldn’t tell if he was having a good morning or not. 

The date with Chan had gone incredibly well, that was for sure. He was sweet, such a gentleman, and the time they spent together wasn’t at all boring by any means. He was absolutely _perfect_. 

So why was Hyunjin panicking?

Of course, there was the initial fear when he woke up in the morning to see that their little make out in Chan’s car wasn’t so _little_ after all, and his neck looked as if someone had tried to maul him. And the more makeup Hyunjin piled over it barely made a difference, so the fact that he told Chan that he would go over to the apartment in the morning so he could hear a track the elder had put so much effort into, wasn’t exactly as exciting as it had been last night. 

At the apartment Hyunjin could run into Minho—or _Jisung_. 

God, he completely forgot about Jisung. 

Hyunjin hadn’t seen him in a few days for classes, the small break in his school schedule was a true blessing, and he suddenly felt guilt crawl up into his chest. The situation with Hyunae wasn’t necessarily Jisung’s fault, and Hyunjin realized that after a few days to himself. They were dating, of course they were going to act like a couple. Hyunjin was simply being a big baby about a bit of PDA. 

_He had a girlfriend._

Right, why was Hyunjin so worried about a few hickies when Jisung had a girlfriend?

Why was Hyunjin even bringing up the fact that he had a girlfriend when that didn’t even matter?

Why was Hyunjin still so terrified that he had visible evidence of Chan’s lips on his neck when Jisung wasn’t in love with him and he definitely wasn’t in love with Jisung?

Why did Hyunjin feel so guilty? 

Staring at the purple marks on his neck had his mind flickering back to the moment when he first saw Jisung with the same little round spots on his own collar. Back in Hyunjin’s first year of secondary school, when Jisung basically lived at their house, him and Minho stopped paying much attention to Hyunjin. It was a phase in Minho’s life where he was getting into too many fights with his peers, and spending less time with his brother. And when Hyunjin was that age he was pretty butt-hurt about it. 

Jisung and Minho had just returned back from a party, one that Hyunjin _had_ received an invitation to, but he was too tired from dance practice to even think about going. He had to endure a lot of begging from Felix—how that boy could still jump around after torturous hours of practice, Hyunjin would never know—but he managed to abstain. 

But with Minho skipping out on practice and Jisung riding his best friend’s coattails, the two boys happily took part in underaged drinking and promiscuous dancing without a care in the world. They never even considered the fact that Hyunjin and his mother had been sleeping as they trampled up the stairs at two in the morning. How his mom managed to stay sleeping that night was beyond him.

And with his brother’s room right next door to his, it was impossible for Hyunjin to get back to sleep, their loud excitement too much for the thin wall between them to block out. So, the lanky boy peeled his covers off his body and stomped into their room to give them a deadly glare and a good smack to the backs of their heads. 

Grumpily, Minho apologized and promised to be quieter, but Jisung simply smirked and tugged the taller boy down onto his lap to coo at how cute Hyunjin’s puffy and tired face was. It was around the same time of his life when Jisung learned to push back his anxieties and began gaining self confidence, since that was something he desperately lacked when he was younger. But with confidence came the flirting. 

Jisung chalked it up to “sibling like teasing” but Hyunjin couldn’t deny the massive crush he had on the younger back then. So the feeling of Jisung’s (then blonde) fringe ticking Hyunjin’s cheeks and the skinny yet strong arms wrapping around him, was almost too much for his poor heart to take. 

And then he saw the red spots lining Jisung’s neck and momentarily froze, confusion haunting his train of thought and throwing him for a loop. Hyunjin wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what those were, but for some reason, it didn’t occur to him that Jisung would ever _get_ them. 

But there they were and it had definitely punched a small hole in Hyunjin’s heart that night. 

They were all adults now though, surely they knew that he was bound to grow up sooner or later. It would be ridiculous if they decided to throw a fit now, right? Hyunjin was in college for god sake, he was allowed to have a boyfriend.

Or—a _Chan_. Whatever they were, Hyunjin was allowed to have it dammit.

So why was his hand shaking as it lifted to grab the door knob?

Amongst his inner turmoil he hadn’t heard the heavy step of Jisung walking up the stairs. Jisung was so exhausted that he hadn’t even noticed Hyunjin until he was scaling the last few steps of the three story apartment complex. He paused for a moment as he watched the elder hesitate at the door, Hyunjin’s eyes glued down on his hand. 

A sudden wave of so many emotions rushed through Jisung at the sight of Hyunjin in a baggy sweatshirt that fell around his waist, the baggy sweatpants around his hips still not enough to hide his perfect ass. Even from behind, Jisung could tell that he was tired, his hair all messy and cute. Jisung’s heart swelled in his chest. 

Of course Hyunjin would be the one to dissolve all of his stress. He should’ve known. 

With a deep sigh, Jisung felt himself smile. He ascended the last few steps and sidled up behind Hyunjin, eyes heavy from lack of sleep. Hyunjin still had yet to notice his presence, and that had Jisung chuckling under his breath. His obliviousness was going to get him killed. 

Jisung slid his arms around Hyunjin’s thin waist, only feeling him flinch for a second before he was relaxing back into Jisung’s chest. Jisung didn’t have room for confusion, as he was too elated to actually hold Hyunjin again. He couldn’t remember the last time he could just walk up to Hyunjin and grab him without there being a fuss. Jisung missed him. 

Jisung took the opportunity to lean his jaw against Hyunjin’s shoulder and tuck his face into the fabric of the elder’s sweatshirt, only holding him closer. Hyunjin’s body wash had always been Jisung’s favorite, not too intense that it had him nauseous, but sweet and soft enough to tempt him into placing a line of gentle pecks along the expanse of skin—

That settled it, the break-up was officially driving him insane. 

With a sigh and a curt laugh, Hyunjin closed his eyes and leaned his head to the other side. Jisung’s eyes widened for those few moments when the invitation was right there in front of him, and some sick part of him wanted to scatter marks over the soft plane of Hyunjin’s skin. In his daze, Jisung wondered what kind of noises Hyunjin would make if he bit down and made a mess of his pretty collar; if Hyunjin would beg and whine or release little breathless gasps. He was right there—so damn close. 

Jisung’s tongue ran along his bottom lip at the thought. 

_What was happening to him?_

“I’m sorry for just standing out here. I must look crazy.” Hyunjin breathed, hands wrapping around Jisung’s forearms. 

Jisung huffed a laugh, nudging Hyunjin’s shoulder with his chin, just enough to shift his sweatshirt off to the side. “No, you—”

Both of them froze at the same moment—different reasons as to why. 

The warm body behind him _wasn’t Chan._

Hyunjin’s mind was screaming at him to _get away_ , telling him that he shouldn’t feel so comfortable with _Han Jisung_ pressed intimately against his back. With his stupid hands gripping Hyunjin’s waist and chin resting on his shoulder where some other man’s lips had kissed him, where Chan had—

Jisung saw the angry purple bruises before he could process the rest of what he wanted to say. They had been hidden behind the strategic collar of Hyunjin’s sweatshirt, and he suddenly felt a wave of an emotion that hadn’t risen to the surface for _years_ climb up into his chest. 

Jisung quickly unraveled himself from Hyunjin, face flushing red as he took multiple steps backwards, his back colliding harshly against the door of the apartment across from Minho’s. Jisung couldn’t care less about the sudden pain that rocketed up his spine, his attention locked onto the massacre on Hyunjin’s clavicle. 

Speechless, Jisung could feel his chest tightening and breathing quicken within his ribcage. Everything was so much worse than it had been before. At least he had a form of relief from breaking things off with Hyunae, now all he could feel was the crippling weight of Hyunjin’s eyes on him. He felt completely exposed and rejected.

He couldn’t breathe. 

“Ji—” Hyunjin attempted to lean forward and grab his arm, brows pulled into a worried frown. 

He felt stupid. 

“I—shit. _I’m sorry_ ,” Jisung whispered, shrinking away from Hyunjin’s reaching hand and hurrying past him to shove his extra key into the lock, twisting it open faster than he had ever done in his life. It was a miracle that he could even get the key into the hole with how badly his hands were shaking. 

Stupid _stupid_ Jisung. 

Jisung barely registered the confused concern that flashed across Changbin’s face as he sped past him, his sights set solely on the last room on the left. Slamming the door behind him, Jisung couldn’t help but feel like he was dying, his chest aching and body suddenly warm. 

“Sung?” A groggy Minho lifted from under his sheets, his chest bare and bedhead wild. “What the hell?”

“I’m so stupid,” Jisung rasped, tugging at the collar of his shirt and collapsing back against Minho’s desk chair. “What the hell is _wrong_ with me?”

“What happened?”

But Jisung could barely hear anything over the sound of his heart beating, the echoing drum in his skull. 

Minho frowned, lifting from his bed and pulling a shirt over his head in order to cross over to his best friend. Jisung looked absolutely exhausted, heavy-lidded eyes staring out at nothing as his hands raked through his gelled hair, ruining the style he had probably spent his whole morning on. 

It had been years since Minho had seen Jisung in such a state. There had been brief moments where Jisung got uncomfortable going to crowded parties or big lectures, but there was nothing small about how he was acting now. 

A brief memory of a crying boy covered in mud and soaked to the bone flashed through his head. 

Minho sighed, rubbing a palm over his face as he took a seat on the floor beside the desk chair that Jisung had claimed. Minho’s hand moved up to pat Jisung’s knee, “Well, Sung… Let’s get through this bitch together, okay?”

* * *

Hyunjin felt his face pale as he took a slow step into the apartment, closing the door behind him. The look of fear that Jisung had was heartbreaking, his eyes wide and jaw clenched so hard that Hyunjin knew for sure that it had to hurt. 

“The hell happened out there?” Changbin asked, tone stern but confused. 

Hyunjin cringed, feeling his face heat up. 

“He…” He debated telling Changbin—perhaps he already knew? Either way, it wasn’t Hyunjin’s place to say anything. The last thing he wanted was to get even further on Jisung’s bad side. 

What did he even do to set him off?

“He _what_ , Hyunjin? What happened?” Changbin placed down the cooking utensil that had been gripped tightly in his fist. 

It felt weird to see Changbin distressed, as he was usually the calm during the storm, keeping a level head even when things took a turn for the worst. But Hyunjin figured he’d be the same way if he just saw one of his best friends in such a state and not have any prior knowledge of the situation. 

“He started freaking out,” Hyunjin finally said, voice low. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

But he really wasn’t sure, and it was easy to tell that Changbin didn’t believe him.

“Are you sure you want to leave it at that, Hyunjin?” 

Hyunjin’s lip wobbled for a quick second as his eyes locked on something off to his right. It was difficult to sit still under the heavy gaze of Changbin, but really, there was nothing else he could say. He wouldn’t tell Changbin anything that could reveal too much, and if that enduring his interrogation with sealed lips, then that was what he had to do. 

Hyunjin nodded slowly, “Mhm.” 

Changbin’s eyebrows rose in shock, his arms moving to cross over his chest. “Seriously? You’re not going to tell me why Jisung just ran in here breathing like he was in fucking labor?” 

Hyunjin nodded again, more sure than the last time. 

“He’s with Minho. He’ll be fine.”

“You’re just going to be super cryptic and annoying then.” Changbin said, frustration clear on his face. “No explanation at all.”

“Sorry.” 

Changbin looked at Hyunjin as if he didn’t believe him, but he honestly was. Hyunjin knew how shitty it felt to have people you care about hide things from you, since he went through a whole phase of it with Minho—hell, his brother still hid shit from him half the time. But if anyone was going to tell Changbin what was going on, it was going to be Jisung. 

Because there was no way in hell that Hyunjin was going to break all rules of trust and tell someone that Jisung suffered from panic attacks. 

Granted, he used to get them all the time when he was young, therefore they were less of a secret and more of a “who possibly didn’t know?” type of deal. A lot of things set him off, and the fact that his parents completely uprooted their lives every two years didn’t help. Thankfully, they had gotten the hint and decided to hold off on moving until Jisung was out of school and ready to go off on his own. 

But it had been a long time since Hyunjin witnessed one so bad, and he didn’t want to share that secret with anyone. He knew Changbin was one of the most trustworthy people he knew, but it wasn’t his news to spread. 

Changbin’s eyes scanned Hyunjin’s form for a moment, his gaze only pausing on his neck for a fraction of a second, and if Hyunjin hadn’t known what he was looking at, he wouldn’t have noticed anything different. 

“Fine.” Changbin said, spinning on his heel and returning to the small kitchen. He was frustrated and Hyunjin felt bad about that, but he would hopefully know soon enough. 

And like clockwork, the bathroom door opened, Chan emerging with damp hair and thankfully fully clothed. It wasn’t the time to get distracted by his incredible body, Hyunjin would probably just feel even more guilty if that was even possible. 

“Jinnie,” Chan chimed, voice full of life and excitement as he all but bounded to the taller boy’s side like an excited puppy. Though, his cheery nature wouldn’t be enough to raise his spirits—if anything, he dampened them further, even more guilt gnawing at Hyunjin’s chest. 

Chan grabbed Hyunjin’s limp arms and tugged him forward, nearly pulling him into his chest. Hyunjin felt his brows furrow and his head tilt away as Chan leaned forward to place a kiss on his lips, only to miss and land on the side of Hyunjin’s head. Chan immediately pulled away with blinking eyes, his pretty lips open in slight surprise. 

Hyunjin cringed. 

The universe was really against him today, huh?

“Is something wrong?” Chan asked, voice full of concern. 

What a perfect guy. 

Hyunjin nodded, lips pulling in a tight line. “The morning has just been a little crazy…” 

Hyunjin’s eyes flickered up and they landed on Changbin, who was already glancing his way, his own gaze skipping back and forth between him and Chan. Though, without a word he turned back to whatever breakfast he was cooking. 

“Anything I can do to help?”

_Leave—_

Hyunjin seriously wanted to punch himself in the face. It wasn’t Chan’s fault for what happened, and he couldn’t ever think that. Chan was just caught in the middle of some messed up situation that wouldn’t have happened if Hyunjin had just kept his stupid heart in line. Maybe if he never met Jisung, everything would’ve turned out fine. 

Because that would’ve solved all of his petty problems. 

“No, Channie,” he managed to send a smile to the boy. “But we should probably get out of here before things get worse.”

Chan nodded, carefully lifting his hand to cradle Hyunjin’s jaw. 

“Okay. No problem.” 

Hyunjin sighed as Chan gave him the most patient smile he’d ever seen. His guilt only grew.

Could things get any worse?

As if answering his internal question, the door to your brother’s room swung open and quietly shut after his grey haired sibling stepped out. His face was set, jaw squared and brows furrowed. 

It was the same face that Minho went into every conflict with. That was the same expression he wore every time he threw a punch or when he used to pick fights with their mother’s old boyfriends. Minho was angry—with who, Hyunjin wasn’t yet sure. 

But Minho didn’t miss a beat as he stepped around Chan and took his place in front of Hyunjin, his calloused and scarred hand reaching up to the neck of his tousled sweatshirt. Hyunjin didn’t even bother to pull away or wiggle out of his reach, he just kept his unwavering gaze on Minho’s face as he tugged the collar down to expose the patches upon patches of bruises that spread lower than most would consider to be modest. 

Minho kept his gaze down, refusing to look up into the wide eyes of his baby brother. He didn’t believe it when Jisung began babbling about hickies and teeth marks on Hyunjin’s skin, his head in his hands as he finally came down from his inner panic. But there it was, _clear as fucking day_. 

Minho wanted to spin around and sock Chan square in the jaw, but there was something deeper seeded in his chest that kept him from doing so. He bit the skin on the inside of his cheek, his mouth filling with copper as he dropped his hold on Hyunjin’s sweater and spun around. He met eyes with Chan for only a moment, getting a hard look back as he bumped past and back into his room. This time the door had slammed behind him, all caution to the wind. 

Hyunjin expected yelling and screaming, a fight he was willing to endure and take. Minho was only his brother—as much as the older sibling wanted to fill the hole that their dad left empty—he was _just_ his older brother. He could scream and punch things, but Hyunjin wasn’t a baby anymore. What he hadn’t expected was complete silence from Minho, it was almost worse than him screaming… 

_No_ , Hyunjin’s mind flickered back to the way Minho refused to even look into his eyes, _it was much worse._


End file.
